Waiting For You
by misa.pb16
Summary: Another break out gone wrong. Michael and Sara have to learn to live without each other as each of them does it's best to protect and love their child. Will they ever be together again ?
1. Chapter 1 - Separation and Despair

Sara breathed in as she grasped the unclean sheets. She closed her eyes and rested her head on the lame cussion she had as pillow, breathing in and out. The moment she had felt her first contraction a little after dinner time, Sara had laid on her bunk and wept silently, not because she was in pain, not because she was scared, because she had felt a deep despair at the thought of spending the last few hours with her baby. As soon as it would come to the world, she knew it would be snatched from her.

Sara had ignored that fact for the past seven months, the doctors, some inmates, all told her not to be attached to the baby. But Sara couldn't understand how she could do that, she was already so in love with her baby before she stepped into Miami Dade.

And even if she hadn't been, her baby was the only thing that kept her going through the horrors she saw in prison. Whenever she would be frightened to death she would hold onto her stomach and felt the little life inside her and it brought her a peace she didn't knew could exist.

Each time she missed Michael so much that she wanted to sob and never get up, her baby had made a movement, a kick, or just shown it's presence in the form of her growing stomach and her heartache was healed away. Because she knew she had a piece of Michael with her.

Sara avoided acknowledging the fact that her baby would be taken from her, she ignored it. But the moment her labour had started, she felt like someone was ripping a part of her soul. How would she live without her baby? Sara clutched desperately onto her stomach, as if it could keep the baby from leaving the safe walls of her womb.

As the hours passed and the contractions increased in frequency and intensity, her panic and despair had led her to feel a strange kind of peace. She was being selfish in wanting to keep the baby in this dirty, inhuman place. Sara recalled the fear that never left her heart during the past months, the fear that someone will hurt and kill her baby.

Now she realised, she could be at peace, because her baby would be with Michael, it will be safe. Warm, in Michael's loving arms, like she had longed to be all this time. She felt okay, she felt at peace. As long as Michael and her baby were fine, safe and together she would be okay too, because she loved these two more than anything in the world. Sara even smiled, relief washed over her at the thought of her loved ones being safe.

The baby would be okay because _god_ , there was nothing more safe and warm than Michael's arms, and Michael would be fine because there was nothing more reassuring and appeasing than holding onto this tiny being. She knew both the feelings and if they had that, they had everything.

They had waited till she almost passed out on her bunk, as a doctor she knew squating and walking would help the process but her cell mate had complained about her shifting position in her bottom bunk and making the top bunk move too. Brenda wasn't part of gangs, but she was none the less menacing and Sara woved nothing would happen to her baby so close to the end, not because of her.

She laid as still as she could, holding onto her stomach and controlling her breathing. Eventually closing her eyes shut and biting onto her lips when she felt the pain might cause an involuntary whimper to leave her lips.

Early in the morning, an inmate had reported her condition, complaining about her screams when all that Sara did was moan in her pillow to muffle. She was sweating and breathless when the guards took her to the van to get her to the downtown clinic.

The pain was ripping her insides but Sara was at peace, everything would be okay now. She refused the staff's help, no doctor was granted to her, but she refused anyone to touch her.

She was a doctor, much more competent than the clinic staff and she wanted to be at peace while she gave birth. Sara couldn't make the guards disappear, nor could she make the handcuffs linking her to the bed disolve, but she wanted this moment to be a beautiful one, she didn't wanted to be like this but if she could just ignore everything and focus on her baby she would be fine.

She wasn't granted that thought, if Sara was keeping control of her breathing, contractions, pain and pushing, she couldn't handle the pressuring of the guards and staff. No one had the patience to wait, Sara knew she had to take things in rhythm of her body but she wasn't granted that.

The guards kept checking their watches and the medical staff, instead of encouraging, was practically urging and forcing her to push even when her contractions eased away. Sara wanted to cry, she wanted Michael, she wanted him to hold her and kiss her and encourage her, she needed to hold his hand, she needed him to reassure her and she..just _needed him._

If she had the strength and the power she would have snapped at each person in the room. Why couldn't they leave her in peace? Hell, this would have been better if they locked her away in the SHU and she gave birth in there, at least she would have been at the peace she was so desperate to have.

She closed her eyes shut wanting her soul to leave her body when she felt their hands on her, the medical staff looked at her like she was a con, a criminal, a murderer that didn't even had the right to be treated as human.

She longed for Michael's blue loving eyes, for someone to at least look at her with affection in this moment, or even compassion, humanity.. Sara pushed with all her might with their pressure and their yelling on her.

''Do you want your baby to die? Just push bitch!'' ''You're doing no efforts you lazy slut.'' ''Even the baby's eager to leave her killer ass!'' ''Why doesn't this son of a whore comes out already?'' ''Do you even know who's the father? Because this kid already has an useless con as a mother!'' ''Push! The kid hates you! It want to leave you!''

Sara wanted to shut their voices, she wanted silence..but she learnt in prison that the silence was underrated, no one was given the luxury of silence as an inmate. Not even while giving life.

After forcing on her body for a while and causing tearing that shouldn't have happened in normal circumstances, Sara finally gasped as she felt the baby leave her body and heard it's cries. She closed her eyes and let out a sob of relief with tears streaming down her eyes.

''Jenny you're right, it's a bastard!'' One guard chuckled announcing the gender and Sara wanted to slap them, her baby had seconds in the world and it was already called profanity.

She instinctively reached out for her baby, not wanting it to be in their hands any longer when the metallic handcuffs stopped her. She looked desperately at the only guard who stood quiet by the door, just sighing impatiently from time to time and raised her wrists. ''Please..''

The guard rolled her eyes as she walked to the bed and began uncuffing Sara. ''You have 30 minutes.'' She announced checking her watch once again, all she probably wanted was to leave for lunch time.

Sara reached for her baby and when it was finally placed into her arms, a sob left her throat and she held him to her heart. ''You're beautiful...oh baby boy..'' she cried taking in the tiny baby's features.

She was handed a bassin of water to clean him and her heart broke when the baby scrunched his eyes and cried at the coldness of the water, she was pretty used now to shower with ice cold water but a newborn needed warmth. She quickly wrapped him in the not-so-clean towel she was given and brought him to her chest to give him body warmth.

Her son had stopped wailing after a couple of minutes of feeling his mother's warm embrace and hearing her familiar voice. The baby had light brown eyes and her nose, all the rest was Michael. Sara had never felt so happy and heartbroken at the same time. She lay kisses to her son's lips, forehead, cheeks, tiny hands, chest..whispered sweets nothings in his ears but time had never ticked so fast.

She was given used clothes to dress him and she wanted to request for a hat or socks, her baby's hands were cold. It was winter for god's sake. But she kept quiet, knowing she would only get into trouble and watched her son like it was the most beautiful thing she's even seen, she tried memorizing his beautiful face not knowing when she'll ever have the chance to see it again and rubbed her fingers on his chest with all her love, just like she used to with Michael.

''It's time.'' The same guard as earlier stated and Sara's heart felt like ripped out of her chest. She hugged her baby close to herself hiding her face in it's tiny neck and pulled back to kiss his forehead.

''I love you..oh my sweet little baby I love you.'' She said in her son's ear never wanting him to forget her and kissed his tiny lips again, then his cheeks one by one as her tears fell on his face.

The guard cleared her throat and Sara embraced the baby a last time whispering she loved him again and then handed her baby away while looking at the other side and closing her eyes. She wouldn't be able to watch them take him from her. She only wanted to remember his angel features, his intense gaze as he stared at her with the tiny frown in his brow, just like Michael.. _oh god_.

''The child will be taken at the prison where it's legal guardian has been called and you will be shifted back there by tonight.'' The guard informed and Sara still kept her eyes closed.

Once all the guards had left after having her handcuffed back Sara couldn't hold it anymore and broke down into heavy sobs.


	2. Chapter 2 - Something missing

Once all the guards had left after having her handcuffed back Sara couldn't hold it anymore and broke down into heavy sobs. There was nothing worse than this, she tried reassuring herself that the baby was safe with Michael but it didn't stop her heart from bleeding.

She wasn't even granted enough time to cry because a doctor was sent to check her condition and she was given a shot, her eyes had closed and blackness enveloped her.

Michael paced back and forth in the prison's visiting area, he had been called an hour ago, and been told that he could come and collect the baby, once at the prison a guard informed him that Sara was taken to the clinic and that he had to wait.

Michael's heart went crazy with worry and pain. He hated himself right now, Sara was here because of him. He had failed her so badly.

On the day of the escape, she and Gretchen Morgan were caught while going to the chapel and were taken to solitary for a few months.

Michael wasn't allowed to visit her for the next four months and her trial had been a mess. A new audience was held a few weeks ago and Sara was declared guilty of the murder of Christina Hampton for lack of proves on the self-defense theory.

Michael had spent days and nights going after lawyers and judges and finally managed to get an appeal date, six months later from now. The case was closed, and if he wanted to re-open it and go through it again, he would be in the bottom priority list.

Michael helplessly agreed, hating the fact that Sara would spend even more time in prison. More time than he's spent in Fox River and Sona both, he was still thinking about an escape plan but his phone was taped, his car tracked, his every move watched.

Every night he had been going crazy with worry and guilt, if only he had done this or that, he hated his mother. He loathed her for having put Sara in the position to kill again. He hated everyone, himself included.

Sucre was back to his family, Lincoln with LJ and Sofia in Panama, Alex back to Chicago with Felicia. While Michael, without Sara, gradually lost the will to sleep and eat, the worry and guilt ate him alive.

Each second he worried for Sara, or simply longed for her presence. He would never be able to sit with her and fight over baby names, he would never be able to take her to the doctor so they can hear their baby's heartbeat together, he would never be able to feel his baby's kick through her smooth skin. He hated the world for having taken so much from them.

Michael was completely desperate, when he was allowed visitation again, only once in the month. It was Sara's smile and reassurances that somehow had given him strength again, it had been months since he had seen her and he couldn't even touch her.

Michael had been repeating he was sorry again and again but Sara assured him she was fine and doing good, he could see she was showing and his heart had swelled for the new life they had created, Sara had spoken about the baby and he had hopes again.

He would fight for them, he would never give up on them, if Sara could hang on while on the inside of the fence then so could he. He would fight.

Michael had wanted to plan a break out again but Sara had declined, not the right time. She didn't wanted to risk anything with the baby. Michael had compelled, seeing they were away but she was okay.

He looked at the clock and sighed with worry, he hated himself for not offering her better conditions, she deserved so much more than this place. Michael wanted to be by her side during this, he at least wanted her to be in a decent hospital, he longed to be with her when their baby took it's first breath.

'' , your son is here. Please sign the form.'' Michael gasped and couldn't stop the smile on his lips. ''It's a boy?'' Just like Sara has wished.

''Please sign the form.'' The guardian impatiently stated again.

''Oh my god..how's my wife? Is she okay?'' He was given a deathly look by the man who shoved the paper and pen at him. ''Sign the form!'' He spat and Michael, with trembling hands, hurriedly signed the papers that stated he was in custody of his son.

A female guard walked in with a newborn in her arms and Michael felt tears form in his eyes, he didn't let them fall as the guard handed him the baby. ''Oh god..it's a small Sara!'' He said aloud overjoyed by the feeling of his son in his arms for the first time.

He forcefully detached his eyes from the baby at his own mention of Sara and looked at the guard. ''Were you with inmate Scofield? How is she?'' He asked more composed but the guard sighed.

''You may leave.'' The guard had left without a word and Michael felt heartbroken to not have any news of Sara. He looked down to his baby and his worry was tamed with the with joy he felt. The baby was so tiny, so cute, so Sara. He held it to his chest and kissed his son's forehead.

''No one's telling me but Mom's fine? Right sweet boy?'' The baby squirmed at his voice, after being snatched from his mother's touch he had gone from unknown arms to unknown arms. And this new person was holding him with care for the first time.

Michael sniffed and looked outside, they hadn't properly clothed his son, he was red from cold and Michael instantly removed his hoodie and used it as a blanket for his son.

''Little oversize huh?'' Michael spoke to the newborn again, he was overjoyed. Once his son safely tucked into his arms he walked out in the cold to his car.

''Is it _una niña_ or _un niño_?'' Sucre excitedly asked as Michael set foot into the loft.

Sucre and Maricuz, along with Lila had came a week before Sara's due date. Linc had to stay in Panama, for LJ, he didn't wanted to leave him alone and LJ had found an university as well as a girlfriend keeping him there.

Thought, Sucre insisted he didn't wanted to leave Michael alone. He had called him every week till now, and Maricruz had come along stating she was a woman and could take care of the baby easily now that she knew stuff with her own one year and a half old daughter.

''Surprise, surprise...it's a boy!'' Michael announced happy he had someone to share his joy with, if not Sara.

Sucre ran to him and took a glance at the baby.

''He looks just like the doc!'' Sucre stated as Maricruz joined the boys and the three of them stood just admiring the little boy. Michael laughed.

''Doesn't he? A copy of his mother.'' Michael smiled.

''He's so cute!'' Maricruz said in awe, her own daughter in her arms.

Lilah reached over, interested by the new thing seeking everyone's attention and took a hand to the baby's cheek. The baby made a grimace and Maricruz scolded her daughter explaining her the new baby wasn't a doll. She excused herself to go and make some of the formula milk Michael had bought for his son.

''Sorry, my daughter's a flirt.'' Sucre joked and Michael smiled, his eyes still glued on his baby boy.

''How is she?'' Sucre asked more seriously and Michael looked up his smile fading.

''They didn't let you see her?'' Sucre worried seeing his friend's reaction.

''No, they didn't even tell me anything. I guess I'll wait till next week so I can go see her in visitation.'' Michael looked down with sorrow.

Sucre patted his back.

''She'll be okay Papi. Don't worry.'' Michael gave him a sad smile and kissed his son's forehead.

''She did so well, look at how cute he is.'' Michael whsipered still in awe of his son, Sucre smiled broadly again.

''Must be proud of her huh?'' Michael nodded trying to keep his tears at bay.

''Yeah, she kept him safe into that terrible place for eight months. I can't be more grateful to her.'' Sucre sighed.

''I would like her to be here. It's so unfair we're all here, free and safe while she's locked up. She's the one who let us the door open at Fox River, and now the irony is that we're out and she's inside.''

Michael closed his eyes the guilt coming back again.

Maricruz had given him the bottle and he fed his son, in awe of the tiny being he and Sara had made, he was their only strenght. Both of them may have given up if it wasn't for him. It was the only good outcome out of this whole mess. Michael couldn't help kiss his forehead again. He closed his eyes letting his lips linger there, Sara must have kissed him too, it was the only way he could feel closer to her right now.

After a while he decided his son needed a bath, not knowing how he may have been treated back there, and Michael decided to dress him with the new clothes he brought him. He frowned when he felt something crumple beneath the baby's jumpsuit, he undid the buttons and removed the clothing and Michael's breath caught up when he found a letter between his jumpsuit and onesie, Sara's handwriting. His breath itched...


	3. Chapter 3 - New priority

Michael frowned when he removed the baby's top and felt something crumple beneath his onesie, he undid the buttons of the underwear and Michael's breath caught up when he found a letter, Sara's handwriting. His breath itched and he couldn't hold on anymore.

''Maricruz!'' He called out trying not to cry in front of his son and holding his tiny hand.

''Yes, do you need something Michael?''

''Can you give him a bath and dress him please.'' He pointed to the clothes he had laid out on the bed.

''Uh..sure.'' she took the baby in her arms and Michael left the room as the tears finally rolled down his cheeks.

He knew he should be at his son's side, give him his first bath, be with him. But Michael's heart just ached in longing of Sara.

He sat in the balcony holding on one of Sara's shirt and her origami rose, the belongings made him miss her even more and he inhaled her scent from the shirt she last wore before their wedding.

After having wiped his tears he unfolded the letter and began to read.

 **''Hey Scofield,**

 **How are you? It's been three weeks since I last saw you and I don't know why but I am missing you so much.''** Michael had to stop and closed his eyes, she didn't knew how he missed her too.

 **''This isn't about me thought. The days are passing and soon our little baby would be with you. I'll be frank Michael, I'll miss them a lot. Even thought I can barely make it to the showers and canteen now, I'm so big! Did I look fat to you? Okay let's stop talking about me.''**  
Michael had a small smile on through his tears, she wasn't fat, she was the most beautiful woman to him and he longed to have seen her more than five minutes in visitations, he longed to spend some time with her, hold her in his arms. Be at her side during pregnancy, fulfill her needs and confort her fears and doubts.

 **''Michael I love our baby so much, I'm glad I have someone on the outside for our child. I never want my baby to be lost in the system like you may have been when you were a child. I know I had told you to wait for the baby to be born before doing anything but now, I don't care anymore.** Michael frowned, he was already thinking of a plan, he wanted her out, how could she accept being locked up and separated from her child ? _Because she wanted them safe._

 **I don't want you to risk your life or your freedom for me again Michael, the baby would be all alone. Our little baby should at least have one of us. All I want is for you to take care of him or her and give the child all your love. That's all you can do to make me happy, take care of our baby, never let my child miss me..''** Michael closed his eyes as he saw a couple of round shaped stains on the words, she had cried while writing it and something swelled in his chest.

 **''It's my soul, it's my sweet, lovely baby and I'm so sorry I won't be there. I'm so sorry you'll do it all alone but I want you to tell the baby I love them, everyday. Take care of our baby like I would have, I know you will. But I know half of you will still be on me, forget me for a while Michael and give your everything to our little baby.''** Michael shook his head, and she was the woman who wasn't sure about being a good mother? Her selfless love for her child was so evident.

 **''Keep baby always close to yourself, keep our child safe. And yeah, if it's a girl, you can pick any name you want (exept Sara Junior), but if it's a boy, name it Michael, after you. Please?''** Michael's tears flew, how could he refuse her anything?

 **''Don't ever be sad over me, give your life on our little one.**

 **I love you, so much.**

 **Sara Scofield.''**

Michael lost it at her signature and sobbed, he missed her so much, he just wanted to do anything for her to be out and safe, anything. But Michael would listen to her, she was right, they had a baby to think of. The second Michaal had held his son he knew protecting him from all harms was his priority. He couldn't jeopardize himself because it's all their baby had left, Michael would keep Sara's pain inside his heart and be there for his son.

After a while he came back inside to see Fernando playing with his daughter and Maricruz holding his sleeping baby boy. He walked towards her and took his son from her.

''Michael, his name is Michael.'' He would do anything for Sara, and if all her wishes never came true, this one would.

On the other side of Miami, Sara lay on her bunk holding onto her empty womb and weeping silently onto her pillow.

She had woken up after a terrible nightmare, one of Daddy's girl had stabbed her stomach, with her child inside. It had almost felt real, the terrifying hateful look the girl had, the breath being knocked off of her as the blade was thrust into her flesh, the blood...

When she awoke breathless to a flat stomach, she had panicked and broken into sobs, feeling utterly lost.

A few hours later, she had gathered herself up but she missed her baby so much, and even thought he was with Michael, Sara couldn't stop the tears from falling as she felt a terrible sensation of loss and emptiness.

She hoped her letter reached Michael, she had written it earlier in the week and slid it under her bra before she was taken to the clinic, she discretely slipped it through their son's clothes when she dressed him.

This was by far her worst night in Miami Dade, because she felt so empty and lost, like never before. All the strenght her son gave her was gone. Her baby must have needed her, she would want to feed him, to make him sleep.

 _''The baby hates you!''_ Sara recalled the guard's words and closed her eyes.

Will her son even accept her as mother when she got out? Would he hate her? She wouldn't know anything about his likes and dislikes and habits and.. _oh god_. Sara closed her eyes as silent tears flew down her cheeks. The baby would hate her...

She looked slim, terribly slim. Pale, very pale and exhausted. Wasn't she sleeping on nights? For the first time, her eyes were missing the determination she always had.

The guard took her to the visitation entrance and he hated to see her beautiful hands cuffed. Had they undone them while she was at the clinic? Michael's heart filled with pain.

''How are you? How did the delivery go?'' He was the first one to ask.

''Yeah let's not waste time about me. How's he? Is he sleeping on nights? What formula have you brought him? He needs to be fed every three hours. Is he adjusting to the milk? Has he gained some weight? God, he was so small when he was born. Have you taken him for a check up? They didn't do anything at the clinic. Have you brought him the right size nappies? Take some cream, his skin can be irritated. Buy him the non-eyes-stinging gel when you give him a bath. You need to see if he needs vitamins, you know that pink baby tube at the pharmacy? He needs warm clothes Michael, dress him warmly, I don't want him to catch a cold or have fever, they can be fatal for newborn babies. And did you..'' she was cut.

''Sara.'' He stopped her rambling and made him look at her. ''He's fine.'' He assured her and Sara locked his with him.

''Okay.'' She nodded looking down and biting her lip and blinking to stop her tears. Michael wanted to take her in his arms so badly, she was visibly not okay, emotionally.


	4. Chapter 4 - Seeing you

''I'm taking care of him don't worry. Sucre and Maricruz are here and I told you I was gonna be a hands on dad.'' Sara smiled her eyes shining with tears.

''Tell me all about him, everything.'' She said and Michael nodded helpless at her longing for her newborn.

''Well he's a good boy, finishes all his bottle every time, that's helping him gain some weight, I tried a couple of formula before he settled on the blue box with elephant bear you know?'' Sara nodded in awe not wanting to interrupt him.

''Don't you worry I keep him all warmed up with blankets and socks and all. He likes to sleep through the late afternoon and waking up like around ten to sleep again around 3 am. I tell you, keeps me awake. He only sleeps in my arms by the way, he loves playing with Sucre but hates him when its time for feeding or sleeping. He likes to pull at Mari's hair.'' Sara smiled and brought a hand to her lips.

''We tried days and nights but I think he hates sleeping in his crib, only sleeps with me or Maricruz. So I nap with him mostly, sometimes when I need to take a shower or get away I trick him by laying my pillow besides him, he thinks it's me.'' Sara's tears rolled on her cheeks.

''And yeah he loves having his bath with Lila, Sucre's daughter, which is a bit weird, she makes funny noises with her bathing toys and he loves it, his eyes are all alert and he wriggles, even makes faces. He loves when Maricruz sing to him, Sucre says her singing is terrible thought. I sing to him too at night. And I tell him things about you.''

Sara wiped her tears and laughed with happiness.

''I'm so glad he has all of you, tell Maricruz I'm so thankful she's taking care of my boy.'' Michael smiled.

''You miss him?''

Sara looked at him, her heartbreak evident in her eyes. ''Terribly.''

''Oh Sara, I'm so sorry..'' Sara shook her head and he knew her reply, it wasn't his fault she'd say.

''You look so skinny, haven't you eaten?'' He changed the subject and Sara let out a laugh.

''You're saying that because I'm without the bumpy stomach now.''

''No, it's not that, I noticed it earlier too. You need to put on some weight Sara.'' Sara looked down, not wanting to admit the gangs had her to give away her food every meal, she was left with bread or salad and a yogurt. So, since about two months now.

''I'm okay Michael, tell me how are you? Is the tumor coming back? Have you felt any pains?'' Michael knew she was avoiding telling him and he sighed, he had gotten operated months before, after her first trial on her insistence and since then, at each visit, Sara would ask if he felt okay.

''I'm fine. How did the delivery go?'' He asked again, Sara looked away.

''I don't want to talk about it.''

''Sara.'' She looked at him her eyes filled with pain. The birth of their first child should have been a moment of hapiness for her, not something so hurtful she wouldn't want to recall it.

''I just use period protection all the time because they are times I bleed and..they didn't do my stitches properly..I had to give away the Christmas present you sent me in exchange of a sewing needle and I teared thread on my pants to do them by myself again.''

Michael closed his eyes and brought a hand to his mouth.

''Oh god Sara..''

''See, I don't want to tell you about the things in here.'' She shook her head.

''I'll talk to the warden and have you shifted to a hospital, what kind of inhuman people are they?!' The guards looked over as his voice rose. He knew the whole staff, guards, warden and even doctors had been ill-threating Sara because of their past and the attempted escape.

''Michael.'' Sara calmed him. ''I am fine, and I don't want to talk about all of this. Just tell me about our baby.''

Michael sighed taking his head in his hands.

''I think he looks like you.'' Sara smiled admitting remembering the joy she had felt on becoming a mother, they never had the chance to share that feeling of pure joy.

Michael looked up and smiled a little too.

''Hell no, he looks like you! Sucre agrees with me and well Mari hasn't seen you. But he's all you Sara. Yesterday in the sun I saw shades of red in his hair.'' Sara giggled and Michael had longed to hear that sound.

''But his hair isn't straight like mine, it's a little frizzy and that comes from you.''

''Caught me doc, I hate it so I keep it cropped.''

''I think it looked cute on him.'' Sara said in awe at the memory of her son.

''Yeah but only on him, now don't ask me to let mine grow.'' He earned a laugh from Sara again.

''I won't.'' They both stopped and stared at each other after sharing their happiness on becoming parents. ''He's so beautiful.'' Sara said emotion in her voice.

''Thank you Sara, he's perfect. We named him Michael, call him Mike for short.'' Sara smiled and the tears appeared again.

''No junior?'' She teased knowing he hated the nickname.

''No!'' He smiled and then looked at her and glanced over at the guard.

He quickly grabbed her cuffed hand and squeezed it. ''I love you.'' Sara held on his hand desperately. ''I love you too Michael.'' Sara wanted to kiss him so badly, a squeeze of her hand was all the contact they had in months. They were never granted conjugals after the attempted escape.

''SCOFIELD! No touching!' A guard yelled and Michael took his hand back, Sara bit her lip to stop her tears.

Michael sniffed.

''Hang on okay? Your trial is in five months and I'm going to do all that's in my might to prove you innocent.'' Michael assured.

''Five months..Mike won't even come near me.'' Sara bit her lip harder blinking not to break into tears.

''He will, you're his mother. Even if we're all here you are his mother, and no one can change that.'' Sara nodded not wanting him to knows her fears, the baby wouldn't like her, after being held by Maricruz and Michael and others his whole tiny life, she'd be like a stranger to him.

''Just hang on okay?'' Michael searched her eyes and Sara understood his fears, she looked down.

''I'm not going to start using Michael, don't worry.'' Sara said with such a irony that Michael's heart broke, he'd never seen her so sad and cynical, not since Fox River anyway. He knew this could be post-partum depression but he feared it could lead to more.

''I didn't meant..'' he was cut.

''Time up Scofield, get up.'' The guard held Sara's arm and pulled her up.

Sara smiled and looked at Michael.

''I love you, take care of Mike okay?'' Michael nodded keeping his tears away.

''And you take of yourself. I love you so much.'' She turned stealing glances at him as he stood there tears in his eyes.

Time used to pass so agonizingly slow for Sara, she felt like the hell of prison had became her life, her heart longed for Mike, for Michael. At moments Sara found herself to be behaving so roboticaly she doubted she was human anymore.

There were times she felt so empty she questioned if she'd be able to be Michael's wife and Mike's mother ever again. Or to feel anything human and warm ever again. For now she felt like she wasn't herself anymore, or that she had became someone who she never wanted to be.

Michael spent his whole time taking care of baby Mike, he was a devoted father and could do anything for his son. He was glad for Sucre and his family to be there, it sure did help him in feeling less lonely and the longing of his heart wouldn't go away but the despair would for a while when they were all together.

They had all became like family now and Michael was happy Mike had Maricruz and Sucre but he felt heartbroken that Sara was missing out on something so beautiful as raising their son. He knew she would always feel pain for it. He used to take pictures each day, all the time and placed it in a baby album so he could show her once she was out but when Michael himself looked through the album his heart broke because Sara, who should have been the most important person in Mike's life, was missing from it...


	5. Chapter 5 - Black and Bright

Michael walked through the prison gates. The latest court hearing had been in the previous week. Months had gone by and he had done his best to get her out, right then. But the complexity of the case and the pace of the law made it difficult one more time.

Michael knew that he was making progress, even though the DA kept on bringing the attempted break out up, his attorney had managed to proof that something was fishy in the case, and that the original evidence of Sara shooting Christina had been edited.

However, it was not enough for him. Michael hated to go back to his son without the promise of bringing his mother back, he had sworn to the oblivious baby that he'd do his best to get her his mom back. He hated even more, having to confront Sara's hopeful eyes and disapoint her once again.

''Hey.'' He greeted Sara as she sat across from him.

If it was even possible, she had lost even more weight and Michael was seriously upset about her health but he smiled.

Sara didn't smile, she took a deep breath and looked at him.

''What happened?'' She asked directly about the hearing and Michael took a deep breath.

''I did my best to present them the evidence I stole from the DA's headquarters. The more I dig, the more it's complicated. It seems that someone wanted you to go down for this, not the Company, someone else..I'm on that. Anyway, it was complicated but I worked for weeks on it and I managed to break in and get the evidence. Only the dates and place doesn't match, I think they photoshoped the original evidence to make it look as if we're not in the warehouse.''

Sara looked on, she was hungry, like all the time even thought now her body was used to it and she had developed severe migraines and legs paralysis. She wouldn't tell Michael thought, as long as he took care of Mike things were fine.

''Michael, you shouldn't have risked your life to break into the DA's office, what would have happened to Mike if something went wrong ?''

''Sara, nothing will go wrong, don't worry I kept things safe. But there is no way I'm leaving you here..god Sara, you must've lost 20 pounds since Mike's born. And what the hell happened to your arm?'' She had injuries regularly, and with Michael's monthly visits she would hide them, being careful to not let any body part visible, her arms were bruised and scarred all over, and Michael's still didn't knew about the burnt on her back. Though, under the hot sun, she forgot to cover her arms with long sleeves this time.

''It's nothing..'' Sara hid the huge scar on her arm.

Michael sighed in despair knowing she wouldn't say a word to prevent him the worry, he wanted her out of here. So desperately.

''The judge said that the evidence is not enough to prove your innocence, but it's presence does change things and they're reviewing your case. The next hearing is in three months.'' Sara sighed closing her eyes. She had lost hope to ever get out of this place.

''I'm sure things will look up, everything will..'' Sara interrupted him. ''I don't wanna hear about it Michael, please.''

''Sara, I'll get you out of here.'' Sara chuckled and shook her head. ''Stop Michael, stop it. I can't take it anymore, it doesn't matter.'' Sara looked down and Michael frowned.

''What do you mean Sara? It does matter, you matters to me!'' Sara gave him a small cynical smile, thinking that too, will not last.

''Tell me about Mike, how's my baby doing?'' Michael looked at her emotion filled eyes and breathed in.

''He's good, growing up so fast. I told you he smiles last time right? Well now he does laugh, specially when he plays with Lilah and he does sit now. I mean not by himself but if you sit him somewhere he doesn't lose his balance and fall.'' Sara nodded.

''I'm missing out all his life right?'' She said on the verge of tears and Michael desperately wanted to at least hold her.

''No, you're not Sara.'' He lied his own eyes glassy. Sara shook her head looking at her cuffed hands with despair.

''You know, I've put a picture of you on the wall beside his crib, you're the first thing he sees when he wakes up and the last thing he sees before he goes to sleep. I tell him all the time that you're his mom and that you love him.'' Michael assured her, trying to solehow make her feel better, he never wanted her to feel like that. How he wished he could trade place with her.

''Oh Michael..I miss you.'' She let her tears fall and Michael's heart sank, he had never seen her so hopeless.

''Sara..hey, we'll be okay. It's going to be okay.'' He promised feeling terribly guilty and useless.

''Stop saying that Michael, it has lost it's meaning now.'' Sara looked away suddenly calming down. But that did only increase Michael's worries. It wasn't a good calm, not at all, she looked hopelessly empty.

''Sara sweetheart look at me.'' Michael said firmly. ''You need to have faith, you need to hang on okay? You can't leave the both of us like this. You can't give up, don't give up. Please Sara. Mikey needs you, I need you. You have to be strong. Come on.'' Sara nodded looking at him and trying to muster a fake smile.

''I love you Michael.'' Sara said and got up, before time for the first time since she was in prison.

Michael frowned "Sara, Sara !" He called after her but she left without looking back and he was escorted out.

Michael held his head as he sat in his car, looking at himself in the rearview mirror. She was giving up, she was losing hope. He would do anything to get her back to life.

Michael rested his head on the wheel letting a few tears of anger and pain drop from his eyelids.

He was trying, but he knew the wait that was killing her, he had Mike to hang on to, but each day must be unending for her in here.

He hated himself, since ever Sara was in prison he hated himself. Mike was truly both their strenght, when he was inside Sara, she was the one having faith and making him fight for her. He was alone and through her whole pregnancy, Michael had hated himself, he never ate, never slept, lost the will to do anything, all he could do was feel guilty, responsible and heartbroken.

After Mike's birth, Michael had hope again, he had gained his strenght back, he would give anything and fight to get the mother of his little baby back, to get his wife back. But now Michael feared Sara had lost any will to fight, he didn't want her to give up.

The feeling of hate towards himself came back, how many days, how many hours, how many minutes will Sara have to live through hell ? Why was there no end to this, why wouldn't they be granted hapiness. Sara, for having always sleflessly helped him deserved it so much. God damn it. He deserved to be in, she deserved to be out, she'd be okay with Mike by her side.

Michael wiped his tears, he couldn't keep on dwelling on what ifs and possibilities. He had to fight for her, he always would.

Michael had found out the guy who framed Sara was named Poseidon, Jacob Ness by his real name.

Michael had wanted a deal with him, to get the real evidence that prooved Sara's innocence. That snake had told him that the only way to get Sara out of there was to work for him. All that bastard wanted was his intelligence, his LLI, Michael had never cursed his condition as much as when he realised it was the cause of Sara's ordeal. The guilt and hate towards himself had never been so strong.

Michael had thought about the deal overnight and he, in hope to see Sara free and safe had almost agreed.

But Sucre had caught him on his plan to surrender and he promised him they'll get the original evidence to get Sara out, without giving anything to this Poseidon. Lincoln and Alex too joined in and the boys did their best for weeks to get Jacob down and expose him.

During Michael's next visits all he did was talk about Mike while Sara listened silently. He never spoke about what was going on with her case, just like she had requested. And he too, boosted by his brother and friends help, only wanted to tell her about it when something was final. And he had hopes that would be soon.

Two days before her trial, Michael visited Sara again and he was certain this time, that they would win. The evidence was clear and Poséidon had been taken into custody, he was an old CIA agent that had used of his power for personal purposes and evil goals.

Michael had wanted to beat the hell out of that guy when he confronted him, that snake made deals by phone calls, making Michael helpless but when they were face to face, he was wanted to take out his eyeballs, break his bones and reclaim the price, the amount of suffering he had given to him by the injustice that was done to his beloved wife.

Lincoln had held him, giving him the sake of his baby boy and he had only watched Jacob get arrested with a tight jaw.

Nothing would bring time back but at least, hopes for future were there, Michael had went back home to his son, and he had held the baby and cried all night, crying out the pain of being without Sara, of knowing her unsafe, of relief, of hope.

And for some reason, when he had seen her walking through the visitation door today, Michael didn't analyse her to make a point of her health, he had only admired and taken in how beautiful she was.

''Sara, how are you?'' Sara gave him a small smile.

"If you're okay, if Mike's okay then so am I Michael." She anwsered with her sad, yet fond smile.

And Michael had wanted to kiss her right there, hold her, tell her how much he loved her, how much he owed her for everything she did for him.

''I'm gonna get you out of here Sara, I'm so sorry, terribly sorry you had to go through all of this but it's over. I have submitted the evidence of your innocence and exposed those who framed you, our attorneys are confident, you'll be out of her real soon.'' Sara looked at Michael with a glimpse of hope in her eyes.

''How soon? Weeks, months?'' She asked, not impatient, just cautious, not wanting to be having fake hopes. She had with a great difficulty made peace with the idea of spending the next 25 years in here.

Michael shook his head wanting to embrace her.

''Days, days Sara sweetheart, by the end of the week you will be at home. With us.'' Michael's eyes shone with tears.

•

 ** _Thank you to Elizabeth, Jana and the one and / or two Guests that left me a review. Your feedbacks means a lot of me. Most of your resquests have been to let Michael and Sara be together soon, well my Misa heart wasn't going to let them stay away from each other for long. This story is however, far from over. It's not untrue to say, that the second part of it starts after Sara's near or far future hypothetical release :)_**

 ** _To the readers who haven't yet, feel free to leave a few words with your feelings , a few guesses and / or suggestions are welcomed. -_**

 ** _•_**


	6. Chapter 6 - Paradoxal Feelings

''How soon? Days, weeks, months?'' She asked, not impatidnt, just not wanting to be hzMichael shook his head wanting to embrace her.

''Days, days Sara sweetheart, by the end of the week you will be at home. With us.'' Michael's eyes shone with tears.

''Wow..'' Sara let out is disbelief. ''This week?'' She asked once again to make sure.

''Yeah, this week Sara.'' He allowed his hand to reach her face and rubbed a hand accross her cheek, Sara leant into his touch.

''No touching inmate!''

Michael retrieved his hand not feeling sad anymore, in a few days he'll be able to hold her, kiss her, make love to her and they'll be together forever.

''You're not gonna believe me but this seems..uh too soon..'' Sara laughed nervously and Michael smiled.

''Everything will be okay.''

''How's Mike?''

''He is fine..oh Sara he said his first word a week ago!'' Michael stated with happiness and Sara's heart soared.

''Oh my god..I missed out on his first word.'' She took a hand to her lips but then let the happiness overcame her pain. ''What was it? Dad?''

Michael smiled knowing his next words would make her the happiest.

''No, it was mom.'' Sara looked at Michael and sobbed into her palm, her heart broke and she closed her eyes.

''He said mom? Oh my little boy.'' Sara wanted to wipe her eyes but the tears already flew and Michael smiled, during her last visits Sara had remained completely emotionless and now her crying meant she was having hopes again.

''Did he call Maricruz mom?'' Sara knew the meaning of the word but she was sure it didn't address her, their son didn't even knew her.

''No! He called you mom Sara.'' Michael saw her eyes widen. ''I have a beautiful picture of you on our wedding day and I keep it on my bedside table. Mike loves staring at it and I tell him everything about you, that you're his mom, that you're beautiful, you're amazing and the other day he crawled and reached out for the picture saying mom.''

Sara sobbed into her hand to stop a whimper as tears of joy cascaded down her cheeks.

''He called me mom? He knows who I am?'' She asked emotion getting the best of her and Michael gave in his own tears too.

''Yes, you're his little mommy and he loves hugging that picture, you know whenever I scold him or he fights with Lila or anyone he goes to it, hold it and falls asleep with it.''

Sara shook her head overcome by emotion. ''Oh gosh, he hasn't ever met me! I haven't seen him since the day he's born..'' Sara cried into her hands and Michael fought to control his own tears.

''You're gonna be able to hold him, see him, feed him, play with him..everything, just a few days.''

Sara nodded, she smiled at Michael. A genuine smile, since god knows how long.

Michael sat by his attorney in the court, to hear the decision of the court.

He glanced behind him to see Sucre eyes closed, finishing a prayer, as a latino, Fernando was a religious man.

But he had never asked god anything for himself, and he sincerely prayed that the honest, helping, good person that Sara was would be granted justice. He smiled in encouragement to Michael.

 _''They can't be blind, your doc's gonna be released papi, trust me! We finally did it Mike!''_

Sucre had earlier enthusiasmed a couple of hours before and Michael hoped, prayed that his friend's conviction would be right.

Michael looked to his right to see Jacobs Ness' figure, he avoided looking at him until now, fearing he wouldn't be able to stop himself from punching his face, to remove that nasty grin off.

But right now, with a regain of faith, Michael looked at Jacob with a dead look of determination. It was over, Michael's heart had already felt it. And for a second he closed his eyes seeing Sara and then his little son's face flash before his eyes.

Michael had never loved anyone like these two, they were his everything, so dear to his heart he'd do anything for them. He breathed in and opened his eyes.

''In the case of the murder of Christina Hampton..'' the judge began to announce the verdict and Michael held his breath.

''We consider the fake identity of the victim and her role as a Cartel organisation worker, as well as the manipulating of evidence done by Ness, the original evidence that shows Mrs.

Sara Scofield, former Sara Tancredi, shoot in defence of Scofield as well as Kellerman's testimony and the papers with Ms Tancredi's signs stating the FBI has exonerated them in exchange of a dangerous energetic weapon's informations holder called Scylla, which was conceived by Christina Hampton herself.

In regard to all these evidence, we declare Mrs. Sara Scofield, exonerated of all charges.'' Michael breathed his eyes filling with tears as he looked up to thank whichever god has listened to him.

''The court calls for Mrs. Scofield's progressive release in the upcoming days, once the paper work of all the evidence settled with the DOC. Ness will be kept in custody and we will pursue all the crimes he's suspected of in one same case. The court is adjourned.''

Sucre leapt of joy rushing towards him and in the euphoria Michael let out a laughter, not caring anymore for Jacob who shot him daggers.

"That whore deserves to be in lock up! If she can't be mine she can't be his!" Jacob shouted and more than the will to kill him for badmouthing Sara, Michael realised how much of a psycopath tha man was as he got dragged out by the court's criminal transporters.

Michael blocked of all that focussing on the relief, the happiness, the joy he felt at the moment and he willingly embraced Fernando who joyfully spoke to him, but he didn't hear. Michael could only laugh and let his tears of relief fall without any hold. He didn't cared about anything, Sara was FREE. Sara was finally free. He would hold her, embrace her, they'd raise their son together... _oh god_...Sara was free.

That night, Michael went home and he cried holding his son, he cried out the pain of their separation, the anguish of never seeing her free, and most of all the relief of being able to hold her again..talk to her unlimitedly...watch her sleep..

Michael realised just then, how much he had missed her, and he couldn't know how he made it this far without her.

''Scofield, visitor!'' The guard grabbed Sara's arm and took her to the visitation room.

Sara didn't expected to see what she saw, Michael was there, wearing a t-shirt with a recent picture of Mike printed on it.

Sara looked at Michael overjoyed as she took in the changes on her son since the last time she'd seen him.

They both sat and Sara laughed with happiness.

''He's so big! And he looks even cuter than I remember!' She exclaimed and Michael laughed along with her.

''We can't bring pictures but no one said we can't wear them.'' Sara laughed and her heart melted at how thoughtful Michael could be.

''Thank you so much, only you can get ideas like that. He's beautiful, he looks so healthy!'' Sara's eyes were glued to his tee and Michael smiled to himself.

''Sara. You're getting out.'' Sara's eyes shot up to meet Michael's as her grin faded to shock.

''What? When?'' She said in complete surprise.

''Tomorrow.'' Michael saw her eyes widen and she laughed elated with joy and nervousness.

''Really?''

''Yeah, I've spoke to the warden and I'll be there to pick you up.''

''Oh Michael..thank you so much. I love you!'' Michael smiled too his eyes showing all his affection.

''I love you too Sara, just one day.''

Sara laughed and nodded ''One day.'' She repeated happily.

The night that followed, Sara couldn't sleep, she kept thinking about the time that she had lost, with Michael, with her son. As happy as she was to be back to them, Sara couldn't stop questioning herself, and she feared things wouldn't work out.

Michael and her never shared a house as husband and wife and the simplicity and domesty of it was scaring to her, she didn't doubt Michael's love. She doubted herself, prison had changed her.

Sara doubted she could be a good wife, when all the time for the past one year and more she had to be cold and not get attached to people, nor show her emotions.

She had been without demonstrations of affection for so long that she feared to be overwhelmed and fail in reciprocating Michael's love. She did love him, inside her heart she loved him more than anything.

But in prison, she had learnt to hide her love deep inside herself, would she be able to show it? For so long, on these earlier months Sara scolded herself for being weak and thinking about Michael all the time, for so long she forced herself to accept that she was off without him.

The whole idea of being with him now was strangely scary.

And there was her baby, her little son whom she loved more than herself but who had become a memory and an idealistic image and imagination of what Michael would tell her. She didn't know anything about being a mother, just that she loved her son, that she would do anything to protect him, but the daily tasks of taking care of him were scary.

She didn't know how to, she had always been scared of being a mother and now she was even more nervous. Even if she did manage things, she was absent for her son's whole life, he didn't knew her, would he even accept her?

It was maybe one hour before dawn that Sara felt asleep, notion of time hadn't really been important in prison. As she woke at 7 am, Sara did the things she did everyday in prison, robotically, only today everything seemed different.

As she took a shower with the cold water and ate her miserable breakfast, Sara kept repeating herself that it was the last time.

She had attended the prison AA meeting at 9 am like everyday, and even if she should have spoken, Sara didn't, she just listened today. Her emotions and thoughts were all so mixed up.

By 11 am, Sara was taken through the departure procedure, body examination, fingerprints taken, given the citizen clothes that were a lame pair of jeans and a hoodie but that made Sara felt human again.

She had worn the same red uniform for too much days to even remember what chosing clothes felt like.

Sara froze when she was handed the belongings she had when she entered, her wedding dress, the two bracelets she wore and the earrings she had purchased for the occasion, but when Sara saw her wedding ring, she couldn't stop her heart from aching.

It all felt just like yesterday and all Sara wanted was for them to give them the time back, for her to be out, back straight to their wedding party. Not to the scary unknown world that awaited her.

A CO yelled at her to move along when she stood staring at her belongings in the plastic bag for more than ten seconds. Sara walked the bag pressed against her chest.

As the rays of sunlight illuminated her face, she could see her horizon above a grey fence again, Sara had stopped again.

The cars, people, outside world all seemed so scary for a moment, she even wished for a second to be back on her uncomfortable yet familiar bunk.

How many time had it been since she had a place to call home? Sara couldn't even remember. It was probably before Fox River's break out and Sara felt that was ten years ago, she felt terribly old today. Her experiences had aged her.

When she walked beside the fence, on the other side this time, Sara threw glances at the inside yard where inmates kept going on with their boring routine.

Sara felt out of place, but for a moment it looked just like when she was a doctor and she would observe Fox River's inmates in the yard.

When Michael appeared in her sight and he strode towards her to close the distance between them, Sara froze once again.

Her feets must have some kind of problem, or else there was no reason she would get glued to her spot, was there ?

She gasped when he hugged her close to his chest, not waiting for anything, and Sara went limp and just closed her eyes. This was more human contact than she had in the past few months.

 **This chapter was a transition one, the second part of this story starts right after.**  
 **Please leave your views. :)**


	7. Chapter 7 - Lost

When Michael appeared in her sight and he strode towards her to close the distance between them, Sara froze once again. She gasped when he hugged her close to his chest, not waiting for anything and Sara went limp and just closed her eyes. This was more human contact than she had in the past few months.

Michael asked her about how she was, if she needed anything or if she wanted something in particular. Sara could only hear the buzzing of his voice as she stared at his beautiful face and wasn't counting the time she would have to rip her eyes off him for the first time since their wedding day.

Michael was overjoyed to see Sara free, but her dazzed state broke his heart, he would have to take things slow, after all now they had all the time of the world, and he could only feel guilty at how she had to endure all this.

''Come on, let's go home.'' He kissed her forehead wishing to go for her lips but giving her time, he placed a hand on her back and gestured to the car.

Sara was quiet for about ten minutes and he kept glancing at her, suddenly, she had tears appearing down her eyes and was fighting them. But she could no longer fight the urge she had to threw herself in his arms and hold him.

During the first time, she was feeling in a trance, not feeling her body, but now she wanted to feel his warm embrace and their bodies pressed together.

''Michael, stop the car.'' She said in a shaky voice.

''What's wrong Sara?'' Michael asked worried as he pulled the car of the road to the emergency line.

A deathly silence felt upon them and Sara debated with herself about her next step. This was the husband she'd been taken away from, straight from their wedding altar. She hadn't allowed herself to hope she'd see Michael again, free at least.

As a mother, she instinctively imagined how she'd take care of Mike. How she'd feed him or watch him sleep. But Michael? As a wife? She never felt like a wife..

As Michael's Sara she had only thought about how much she missed him, and recalled their moments spent together. She didn't dare hope, she didn't dare think about how she'd react or behave with Michael.

She turned to him her eyes full of tears and brought a shaky, hesitant hand to his face, while her other one went to rest on his cotton clad chest. Sara watched him for a second, her eyes fond, and heart soaring as she could actually look at her beautiful husband without any time limit.

He was beautiful, more than she'd remember from the visitations, the truth was, she never really allowed herself to take his feature in, under the grey dim lights of prison. If she had, watched him like she was now, she would probably have broken into sobs.

She recalled the _''Yes, I do.''_ he had pronounced on their wedding, his eyes had been twinkling with happiness, hopes, dreams and love. And she wished, they could be back to that. Because she felt lost, oh so _lost_. And Michael, his heartbeat against her fingers was the only thing that felt like home.

''Sara..'' Her features crumpled at the way he said her name, so Michael, so familiar, filled with love and devotion.

Unhurriedly, she bent and rested her head against his shoulder, allowing her arms to embrace him.

''Michael..'' she let out before swallowing a sob as she felt him hold her back.

Michael kissed the top of her head protectively, she was finally home, in his arms, he hugged her back and held her head, his heart broke at how unusual yet so familiar hugging her felt.

''Oh Michael..I missed you so much...I love you..I love you.'' Sara desperately mumured against his shirt.

"I love you too, I missed you." Michael heard her sniff and tighten her hold on him.

"I missed you so much...you have no idea.." Sara had missed him for over a hundred moments.

At each meal, before going to sleep, waking up in the morning. And when she was pregnant, just each time she held or looked at her stomach. At times, the need to be in his arms was so strong she thought she may have panic attacks, her breathing would get difficult and her heart would physically ache. Sara scrunched her face in memory of that pain and pressed her face into his shoulder swallowing a sob.

Michael could tell from her voice that she was crying and he wanted to pull back to wipe her tears but Sara held on.

''Don't let go, please.'' She cried and Michael held her to him, closing his eyes at the sensation of finally having her in her arms again.

He had missed this woman insanely, his life felt so empty without her.

They stood in the same position for a few minutes and when Sara was at peace, they went to drive again. Sara wasn't quiet this time. She kept asking questions about him and Mike and random things and she was playing with her hands, Michael smiled, he could sense her nervousness from ten miles.

''Sara, it's gonna be fine.'' He looked at her and reassured.

She was surprised when she passed the front door as Sucre, and a hispanic woman, Maricruz she guessed hugged her and she walked in the appartement that was decorated in balloons and a banner of welcome, she could only look at the small details like toddler's toys scattered all around.

Sucre had dragged her to the couch where he presented her all sorts of foods and beverages and after a while of eating prison food, it surely looked appetizing but Sara's heart longed for something else.

Her eyes locked with Michael and he understood. ''He might be napping.'' Michael gently told her.

Maricruz looked at Sara and she left the task of serving drinks into glasses. ''I'll wake him.'' She said starting to go.

''Uh wait..'' Sara stopped her. ''You should let him sleep, I mean..I don't want to disturb him.''

Maricruz smiled. ''It was about time he woke up anyway, he won't make the night. I'll get the two monsters.''

Sara looked down at her hands, Maricruz knew more about her son than she ever could, Sara bit her lip and Michael had put a hand on her shoulder as he stood beside her.

''You're gonna be fine mami, Mari is scaring you, baby Mike isn't a monster!'' Sucre tried to light things but Sara stood up, feeling extremely uneasy. She had held her son once, only once, and had longed for him ever since, but now she felt so scared.

Maricruz appeared back in the room with a groggy baby in her arms and a toddler girl holding her hand, Lilah ran to her father's arms and Sucre gave in her request to retrieve her favorite teddy from her room.

Sara's eyes were fixed on Mike, she felt tears appearing in her eyes and the air was suddenly not enough. She breathed out and brought a hand to her lips as she took in the apparence of her son. He looked so much like Michael and..and like her.

Mike had his head rested on Maricruz's chest as he held onto her, he looked over to his father and Michael stepped in to take him from Maricruz who left behind her husband and daughter to give the couple some alone time.

Michael spoke to their baby in the softest of tone Sara ever heard him use and Mike seemed to be a bit sleepy as he hugged his father and yawned.

Sara had tears on her cheeks now, she hadn't ever seen them both together and Michael was most probably an amazing father. Mike was so cute and Sara's heart was filled only by seeing him again.

Michael saw her hesitancy and walked closer to her, Mike seemed to realise her presence as he stared at her with big eyes.

''Hey, oh baby..baby boy...you're so perfect.'' Sara let out in an emotional voice as she dared brush her finger on the baby's cheek. Mike didn't like the stranger's space invading and clung to Michael as he pulled back from Sara's touch.

Sara's heart broke a little, but she knew she had to be slow.

''Uh..he's always like this when he wakes up, you just wait a while and he'll be playing with you.'' Michael assured and Sara nodded wiping her tears off.

Michael sat with Mike in his lap as he rocked the baby slightly and Sara watched them in awe. The three others soon joined them back and Mike seemed to be more at ease with anyone but her.

Sara watched as Sucre made her son grin and Maricruz threw a ball at him while she played with her daughter.

Mike was soon out of Michael's lap and crawling around the house playing with Lilah and her parents.

Michael squeezed Sara's hand as he saw the emotion in her eyes.

''You guys did so well with him, he's so happy.'' Sara mumbled and Michael looked at her.

''You're his mother, nothing will make him happier than you.'' Sara looked in his eyes, doubting his statement and Michael smiled assuringly at her and got up.

''Mike! Come here baby.'' Michael pulled his son off the floor and the baby giggled in the middle of his playtime.

''I need you to meet someone.'' Michael brought their son back to the couch and Sara smiled at the baby.

''Hi!'' Sara waved at him.

''Give him a high five.'' Michael suggested smiling as he looked at his son's reaction.

Sara pulled out her hand and Mike slapped his tiny palm against hers and Sara laughed with tears in her eyes.

''Okay Mike, don't you recongnize her? That's mom.'' Michael told the baby seriously and Mike looked at him for a second before staring at Sara again with a deep concentration.

Sara swore he looked just like Michael when he did that.

''Mom!'' The baby laughed throwing himself at Sara's arms and she was utterly surprised as she took him in her arms not quite knowing how to steady him yet, Michael put a hand behind the baby's back for safety.

Mike pulled at her cheeks, laughing and repeating the word mom again and again. For the toddler, it was just fun to hold and touch someone he'd only known in a picture, she was like a new bear to him.

Sara's heart leapt in her chest and she couldn't help but laugh along with her son as he addressed her as his mother, oblivious to the word's meaning yet knowing what word to put to her face. He touched her nose and eyes like discovering a new toy but Sara didn't mind, not even when the baby pulled at her hair.

''Mike, don't do that!'' Michael scolded but Sara shook her head tears of happiness in her eyes.

''Let him..oh Michael let him.'' Sara said as she kissed the top of Mike's head.

After a couple of hours of playing around, baby Mike had started to cry slightly and Michael had guessed it was his feeder time.

Sara's heart had broken again as she realised she never even fed her son.

''Mike, will you stay with Mom while I make you bottle?'' Michael wanted to pass him over towards Sara's outstretched arms but Mike cried and clung to his father.

''Tia..'' the baby cried out and Sara frowned at his ununderstandable blabbing but Michael just sighed looking at her apologetically.

''Uh..that's how he calls Maricruz.'' Michael handed the baby to Maricruz and Mike gladly went to her arms as he quieted and held on. Michael passed by Sara again and gave her a small smile before going to the kitchen.

Sara felt like the worst mother of the world, her baby wasn't even willing to come near her. All he had for feminine presence was Maricruz and as thankful as Sara was for her to have been there for Mike, she couldn't help the feeling of envy she had towards her.

Her eyes filled with tears..

 **I know thiis is a short update after a long while, but if you all show some interest, I might post very soon again :)**


	8. Chapter 8 - Home is a Foreign Land

Her eyes filled with tears and she excused herself to the only door she had seen, a bathroom, thank god.

Sara wept silently at how useless she felt, she only wanted for the time she had lost to be granted back to her, why had life been so unfair?

Michael had seen the empathy on Maricruz's face as he walked back with the bottle, he asked her to feed Mike as he went behind Sara.

She hadn't locked the door but he knocked anyway. Sara was surprised for a moment at the courtesy of the things, they weren't even given the privacy to pee in prison.

''Uh come in.'' She mumbled while wiping her tears.

Michael found her seated on the floor, beside the bathtub and he felt so bad, this wasn't how things were supposed to be, he was angry at everyone for having inflicted this to her, he couldn't help thinking that she had paid for everyone else's faults, including his.

But now she was back and Michael knew he had to deal carefully with her, damn, they hadn't touched for so long. He only sat down beside her and took hold of her hand.

''You know, I don't even feel human right now.'' Sara let out on a breathy laugh and Michael closed his eyes.

''He'll get used to it Sara, he's too small to have memories or anything, it's just the matter of a few weeks and he'll love you just like us.'' Michael rubbed his thumb across her hand.

He saw Sara's lips quiver.

''And how will I get used to this? All of this, so much food, loving people, hot water, warm confortable bed, a husband, a son..Michael, I haven't even been able to brush my hair on a daily basis.'' Sara said motioning to all the products and toiletries present around them.

''Come here.'' Michael sighed and took her in his arms, Sara started weeping again and she hated herself for being so weak here when she had been though and not crying was all she had done in prison for the past months.

''It's me Sara, you don't feel weird in my arms do you?'' Sara sobbed and held on tighter as she kissed his shoulder.

''No..your arms the only thing that feels like home.'' She cried and Michael had tears in his own eyes.

''Then it will be okay..'' he soothed threading his fingers in her hair.

''I don't know how to be a mother or a..a wife. I don't know anything, it's all so unknown to me, I feel like I'm a stranger in my own home..'' Michael sighed kissing the top of her head.

''You will be fine Sara.''

''I just want to be back on our wedding day, so I can live my life, learn to be your wife, to be Mike's mom. To feel human, I'm just feeling out of place in my own family, they've taken the right to live my life from me Michael.'' She desolated herself.

Michael wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head and pulled back to wipe off her tears.

''I love you Sara, I'm here with you and I promise you things will be fine. You just need a while to adjust back to normal life, and you need to give yourself some time to be a mom to Mike, you'll be wonderful I know, because you love him.'' Sara looked at him unsure.

''Love isn't enough sometimes, I don't know how to be a mom, I don't know a damn thing about it.''

''You will learn, and I will be with you. I promise you, I'll teach you all myself Sara.'' Sara nodded calming down and taking his hand in hers, she brough it to her lips and kissed his knuckles.

Michael smiled at her. ''And if there's one thing you don't need to worry about, it's us. Nothing has changed and I don't care if you're not a perfect wife material, I just want you to be my Sara, you don't need to make efforts. We'll just be like we were and we'll be okay together right? We made it after your trauma in Panama, it made us stronger and even closer, it will be the same now. Just a little time and letting things happening.'' Sara was soothed by his words and she closed her eyes nodding.

Michael watched her lips and wanted nothing more than to kiss her, Sara opened her eyes and saw the look in his eyes, she had ached for him too. Slowly, she cupped his face and he dipped his head to take her lips in a tender kiss, he kissed her delicately, reliving at the feeling of her soft lips against his and when Sara responded more passionately he deepened he kiss, tasting her mouth and playing with her tongue. Sara wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back desperately, she had longed to kiss him too many times.

Both pulled back out of breath and wanted nothing more than to kiss and love each other again for hours, making up for the lost time but Michael took a breath and laughed.

''Okay, we're taking things slow.'' Sara opened her eyes still in a daze and looked at him smiling slightly.

''And if you're as good in bed as you are in kissing, then you're definitely the perfect wife .'' Sara laughed, feeling a rush of happiness at having her Michael back.

He was right, things were just like before between them, and she knew from that moment that it would be alright.

''Lilah! Get here right now young girl!'' Sara opened her eyes and was confused for a moment as she felt the sunlight hit her eyes.

She realised she wasn't alone in bed and saw Michael's sleeping form, they had cuddled in bed together the previous night after Michael put baby Mike to his crib. The crib was a few meters away, in the same room. The loft had only three rooms and when Sucre and his family came in, Michael had let the nursery he had initially prepared for their baby to Lilah.

It had just required swapping beds, Sara was in prison and Mike had a hard time sleeping by himself, truth to be said, Michael too had needed his presence through the long, lonely nights.

He was never more glad to have Sara back in his arms and just share a bed with her, feel her warm body pressed to himself. They talked for hours, catching up on things, Michael told her every little memory of Mike while Sara mostly listened rubbing a hand to his chest, lying across him. She had smiled and laughed quietly occasionally, and she too, spoke about things she remembered of her pregnancy, about the days she would crave of all kind of foods, about days she felt so sore she could barely get up, about days she threw up more times than she did eat, of the first time Mike had kicked..Michael rubbed his hand down her arm and had listened carefully, overcome by fatigue both eventually fell asleep.

Sara smiled recalling she was finally home, she leant closer to Michael and rested her head on his chest closing her eyes. She hadn't felt this confortable for months, she couldn't explain the bliss, love, and safety she felt in his arms.

Waking up with Michael at her side was the most wonderful thing she felt. After basking in the feel of her husband's presence for a few minutes, Sara glanced at their sleeping son.

A smile formed on her lips watching the toddler sleep. He was laying on his stomach, his face pressed to his pillow with his mouth slightly agape and his tiny arms on each side of his head.

Sara's smile transformed into a grin, she was so happy to even at least see their son, to watch him through daily tasks as feeding and sleeping.

''What makes you so happy doc?'' She heard Michael whisper and let out a quiet laugh, he had been awake.

''Just waking up to my two beautiful Michael's.'' Michael smiled and kissed the top of her head.

''Well, it seems you only see the good sides. You're a heavy sleeper Tancredi, Mike woke up twice yet you didn't move an eyelash.'' Sara smiled as she lay a kiss to his chest.

''I'm sorry.'' She apologised and Michael shook his head, his happiness shining in his eyes, he was so glad Sara was back and safe.

He had longed for her, being worried about her was the only thing on his mind every morning when he awoke.

''Don't be, at least someone was here to keep the bed warm this time.'' Sara smiled, memories of an old conversation flashing through her mind.

She looked up at Michael and couldn't stop herself from laying a kiss to his lips. Michael kissed her back, pecking her lips a few times to tease her and soon she was smiling widely and he found himself embracing her tightly.

''I missed you.'' He murmured in her hair as Sara reciprocated his hold.

''I missed you two, both of you. So much.''

They heard a small thud and Sara glanced over to the crib to see baby Mike sitting up and hugging one of his bear as he watched his parents. The serious frown of concentration he had made her laugh, he was so Michael.

He had that same frown, when he was first born and she held him for the 30 first minutes of his life.

''Erm..there's nothing going on here Mike.'' Michael said to his son as the both of them sat up and Michael walked towards the crib to pick his son.

He hugged and kissed him wishing him a good morning and Sara watched them feeling her heart swell with love, adoration for the both of them.

''Would you say hi to mom?'' Michael gently whispered as he brought Mike to bed.

Mike was quiet as he just sat on the bed with his father like everyday, thought intrigued by a new person's presence in what had always been a moment between him and his dad.

''Dada!'' He snuggled to Michael's chest away from Sara who had been watching him in awe.

Sara gave Michael a sad smile. ''I should probably take a shower.''

Michael held her wrist. ''No, stay. This buddy has to be a little less protective of his dada huh?'' Michael spoke gently looking at Mike.

''Mike..I'm your mom. Baby I missed you.'' Sara spoke to the baby threading her fingers through his hair, happy he wasn't rejecting her this time.

''Meek!'' Mike shot up looking at Michael who chuckled.

''Sara? Why don't you come and see how I make his bottle.'' Michael suggested.

''Uh..okay.'' Sara hesitated.

.

''You have to use the right dosage or the milk would be too thick or too watery and he won't drink.'' Michael instructed her with Mike in his arms as he watched Sara hesitantly use the measuring spoon to pour the powder milk into the water.

Some of the powder was falling off the edge of the feeder and Sara felt like she was screwing up but Michael gave her an encouraging smile.

''Okay, now leave it open, you put it in the microwave, click on three and wait.'' Sara did as told and looked back to Michael who smiled again.

''Not so bad is it?'' He said and she smiled too.

''I guess so.''

Mike started to cry and Michael frowned, he knew the milk was being prepared so it had to be his diaper.

''I thinks he needs to be changed, can you manage this?'' He pointed to the microwave.

''Uh yeah, I've got this.''

Sara came back with the feeder to see Michael wrapping a clean diaper on Mike. She stopped at the door frame and watched them for a second. ''You really are a hands on dad.'' Sara spoke in adoration coming in.

Michael looked up at her and smiled. ''I got things pretty worked out.'' He replied dressing Mike back and carrying him back in his arms.

He looked at Mike intently before looking at Sara again.

''Okay, so I'll just lie him down.'' Michael said putting the baby at ease on his pillow. ''All you have to do is hold the feeder as he drinks. He does grab it but it's a little too heavy for him so he needs someone to hold it for him.'' Michael explained.

''Okay.'' Sara nodded.

''And I will just go and take a shower.'' Michael said smiling wanting to give mother and son some alone time.

Sara nodded again and Michael disappeared in the bathroom, she looked down at her son as he reached out for the feeder she held. ''Meek.'' He blabbed and Sara smiled, her heart melting as she was feeding their son for the first time.

''Here you go.'' She said tenderly putting the feeder to his lips, Mike gripped the bottle and held it to his lips but he had only taken a couple of sips when he pushed the feeder away and started wailing. Sara was taken aback as she collected the feeder and tried to quiet him.

Michael walked out of the bathroom pulling his shirt back on as he heard Mike's cries, had he been fussing slightly Michael would have ignored it but the baby was crying loudly with tears running down his cheeks as his face turned red.

He saw a panicked Sara rub her hand on his stomach and went to carry him from the bed as he craddled him to his chest trying to sush him.

''What's wrong?'' Michael asked.

''I..I don't know, he just didn't drink.'' Sara said in panic at seeing her son cry so badly for the first time.

Mike quieted burying his face in his dad's neck sobbing slightly.

Michael reached for the bottle and checked the milk's temperature on the back of his hand. ''It's too hot Sara, might have burned his tongue.'' Michael said and Sara's breath itched, tears appearing to her own eyes.

''I didn't knew, I didn't knew..I'm sorry.'' She apologised shaking her head.

Michael sighed. ''Always check the temperature before feeding, the plastic might not feel hot but the milk inside can be.'' Michael explained as Sara bit her lip to keep her tears in. She felt so ashamed and guilty.

Mike opened his eyes and looked at her.

''I'm so sorry baby.'' Sara reached out to touch him feeling terrible for having hurt their son but the baby's face scrunched at her view as he started crying again and Michael took him against his shoulder.

''Come on boy, it's alright, it's alright. She didn't do it purposely Mikey.'' Michael tried to calm his son down in vain as the baby kept crying.

Sara's heart broke at Mike's reaction, he was thinking she had hurt him deliberately and she was so sorry for screwing up, for not even being able to make a bottle of milk properly.

Mike might never want to approach her again. And her heart ached at the thought that she might have seriously burned him.

''Maricruz!'' Michael called out and Sucre appeared in the room after a few seconds.

''What's wrong papi?'' Sucre asked seeing Sara's teary eyes and Mike's crying.

''Sucre, can you get this to cool off. He's hungry and won't be quiet for now.'' Michael said handing him the bottle.

''Sure.'' Sucre said taking the bottle and glancing at Sara who had wrapped her arms around herself and closed her eyes painfully.

''You okay doc?'' Michael looked at her torn between managing the wailing baby and his distressed wife.

''Sara, go with Sucre, he'll show you. It's okay.'' He said reassuringly giving her a calming look.

Sucre pulled a pot and filled it with cold water as he pushed the feeder inside right to the bottom of the nipple and held it still while Sara was standing against the countertop her arms crossed around her chest.

''I hurt him, he's a small baby and I hurt him, I suck at this! I can't even make a damn bottle, I'm an useless addict, that's what I'll always be!'' Sara repeated the words often said to her in an old lifetime.

She was angry at herself, so angry, how could she not know small things every mother knew, she wasn't good for Mike, she wasn't a good, or even a decent mother.


	9. Chapter 9 - Step by Step

Sucre pulled a pot and filled it with cold water as he pushed the feeder inside right to the bottom of the nipple and held it still while Sara was standing against the countertop her arms crossed around her chest.

''I hurt him, he's a small baby and I hurt him, I suck at this! I can't even make a damn bottle, I'm an useless addict, that's what I'll always be!'' Sara repeated the words often said to her in an old lifetime. She was angry at herself, so angry, how could she not know small things every mother knew, she wasn't good for Mike, she wasn't a good, or even a decent mother.

''Sara mami, it's okay. Niños are complicated I tell you. It's embarrassing but Lila kept peeing all over me when I tried to change her the first few times!'' Sucre tried to light her up.

But Sara shook her head. ''I'm a terrible mother, I knew I wouldn't be good at this..and now Mike..he probably hates me.'' Sara spoke with a tear stained voice as she looked away pulling at her cuffs.

''He doesn't. When I first went back to Mari, Lila was like four months old, I didn't knew how to be a dad and I sucked at everything. I would only waste away her diapers, hardest task for me, kept going to the store to buy more all the time...Mami I feel you, I know you must think like you've missed everything of your kid's life and that you're never gonna be good enough for him but you will, just give it a little time and practise.''

Sara looked at Sucre letting his words sink in and sighed nodding.

Sara had declined Michael's offer to feed Mike, she didn't wanted to do more damage than she's already done, Michael did so well, he was a perfect father and she was so proud of him, but her, she wasn't worth Mike and she began questioning if Mike would ever take her as his mother, she loved him so much but she didn't feel like she was his mother, she knew nothing about him.

How to make him sleep, what makes him happy, what products to use, how to dress him, how to bath him, she was completely useless.

''Sara? I think he's done feeding and I'm getting him ready for his bath, would you like to join us?'' Michael suggested to her as she was standing by the window staring absently at the boats passing by.

''Do you think I should?'' She sounded so unsure of herself.

''Yeah, I mean he's usually in a good mood when washing up, come on.''

''Okay.'' Sara agreed not sure of herself.

While Mike played in his crib, Michael showed Sara how to fill his baby bath with the correct temperature of water and told her which soap to use for hair and body, he showed her Mike's clothes and insisted Sara chose what she would like him to wear.

Michael explained to her about each item he got prepared, the hydrating body cream, everyday after bathing or the skin dries, the cotton sticks to clean off his nose and ears, the vitamins, the eye cleaning water, for eyes not to get infected by microbes at such a young age, the bottom anti-irritating cream, his little socks...

Sara was at first overwhelmed by all the things she saw but Michael's thoughtful explaining made her smile, he sounded just like explaining a plan to get the Scylla cards, only he spoke with more devotion.

He handed her a couple of his bath toys and told her to add them to his bath, while he got Mike undressed. When Michael came in the bathroom with Mike tucked in a baby towel, Sara had to smile, she was feeling closer to the baby at least, knowing his daily toilette care now.

Michael placed his son into his bath carefully and the baby giggled instantly picking his yellow duck and splashing around in the water.

''Yeah, that's when Sucre's said monster part comes in, he's gonna flood the place.'' Michael told a smiling Sara and Mike noted his father addressing to someone else and looked at her, standing in a corner, his smile left his lips, a serious look taking place on his face, he started to fuss around throwing more water around and crying softly.

Sara took a breath. ''I should go.'' She said about to leave.

''No, Sara stay. He'll quiet down.'' Sara hesitated and seeing she wasn't leaving, Mike started crying more feeling vulnerable at having a new person there in every of his private moments with his dad.

''Michael, he's crying I should leave.'' Sara repeated voice heavier and Mike looked from Sara to Michael wailing and waiting for them to do something.

''No. Actually you come here, I'll stay away.'' Michael who knelt by Mike's bath stood up and went to stand by the sink, the baby cried even more reaching out for Michael.

''Dada!..Dada..'' he wailed.

Sara's heart ached, she looked panicked at Michael.

''Michael please don't do this..'' Sara shook her head unable to see her son in pain.

''He's just a baby Sara, he does cry, it's okay. We just don't have to listen to his every demand.'' Michael explained calmly, visibly too experienced to be affected with the baby's cries.

''It's not a demand Michael. He's a baby, I hurt him and he's scared of me, he thinks I'm harmful.'' Sara defended Mike.

Michael smiled, she loved Mike immensely yet she was always doubting herself.

''I've done such mistakes dozen of times Sara, he wasn't boycotting me.''

''Because he knew you were his dad, you were with him all the time and he felt safe. He doesn't with me, I'm a stranger to him and I hurt him, that's all he knows.''

''Then it is your take to make him feel safe, not to run away.'' Sara looked at him perplexed, she shook her head and automatically knelt beside Mike, she ran a hand down his damp back to sooth him, and the baby cried harder at first, rejecting her touch and reaching out for his father again but Michael didn't move.

''Michael he's crying, please take him.'' Sara requested looking back at him but Michael shook his head.

Sara helplessly looked at the fussing baby.

''Mike, baby it's mom. You're alright, it's okay..I won't hurt you and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for earlier baby..'' Sara tenderly spoke over his cries and Mike quieted to listen to her voice. Sara smiled and picked a duck, she squeezed the plastic that made a funny noise and Mike seemed calmer.

He looked at Sara and tentatively took the duck from her hand repeating her action and focussing on the sound, Sara smiled and he tentavively smiled back, she placed a hand on his back and this time he didn't protest.

Michael smiled.

''Now he'll keep playing and you take the bubble soap and start to rub his skin, from neck to toes.'' Michael instructed joining his family again and Mike instinctively felt safer.

''Dada!'' He repeated the duck pinching action again, as if to show his father as Sara tried to wash him.

Some of the soap dropped into water and Mike was moving in every way but overall, Sara did manage to wash her son, it was the first thing she was actually successful at and she felt so happy, ridiculously.

Michael did show her how to wrap his nappies and let her do a couple of tries, it was too tight or too lose and Michael smiled as he wrapped it back the right way, explaining to Sara that he was exactly like her at the start.

He let her apply his cream and dress him, some buttons werent in the right hole at first, Michael had made her notice and she did them again.

Sara was feeling strangely proud of herself, finally she was able to take care of her son and Mike hadn't been protesting her presence now, she felt hopeful as the toddler was off to sleep again, hopeful that things could maybe work out.

Everyone was eating, even Lilah was on the table but Sara was absent. When Maricruz called Michael to eat, he sat and began eating as always, before remembering Sara, she needed to eat too.

Sara finished brushing her hair, finally feeling clean and human and walked back into Michael's room.

She took a minute to analyse things and smiled when she realised the main stuff were Mike's toys and necessities.

She looked at the crib where a sleeping Mike was and her eyes went higher to notice something she hasn't seen in the dark the previous night.

There was a picture of her, just on the wall beside the crib and from Mike's position, it would be visible all the time. Sara smiled approaching the picture.

It was an old one, pre-Fox River and Sara guessed Michael must've found it online and printed it to frame it, for, he hadn't got much pictures of her.

Michael's intentions were so dedicated she felt her heart swell with love. She laughed quietly at the tough that the engineer in him must have calculated the exact centimeter where the frame had to be, for Mike to see it well from his position.

Sara recalled Michael had spoken about another picture that Mike would hold and it couldn't be this one, too big, too high.

She turned and noticed two smaller frame on the bedside table on Michael's side of the bed.

A picture of herself on their wedding, Sucre had taken it just after they had said their vows, Sara felt still nostalgic of that day, in another lifetime after which she felt her life had stopped.

She looked at her own self, healthy, happy..she looked so awful now, her features had aged so much and she couldn't find herself pretty anymore. Did Michael still find her beautiful as he did on their wedding ? Probably not.

Her heart melted at the fact that he'd kept pictures of her to fill the lack of her presence, at least he could've look at her every night.

Sara had no picture of him, she missed him terribly, she had to seek confort in his memory, in the memory of their beautiful wedding day.

Sara held the other picture, it was a picture of Mike, a few months younger, holding onto a small teddy bear and Sara smiled running a finger affectionately on the picture, she loved her son so much.

She kept the picture back and turned to a sleeping Mike, she had lost so much time, she'd missed moments of his life that would never come back.

His first smile, the first time he started crawling, his first word.. Sara felt out of place, Michael had been there to witness all that, she hadn't, and she was his mother.

Her heart ached terribly but she smiled sadly knowing her two boys were together, she was proud of Michael, he had managed everything so well, he was a very good father and Sara hoped she too, could have a tiny bit of a place in Mike's heart.

Michael had expected Sara to be reading or taking care of herself, maybe doing her hair or putting some make up on after her shower but he stood in the door frame watching with emotion as she knelt on the floor beside Mike's crib, watching him and rubbing a finger over his temple.

He knocked softly, it looked like such an intimate moment between mother and son thar he didn't wanted to break it. Sara didn't ever had the occasion to watch her son.

She looked up and immediately stood up embarrassed.

''Uh..I..'' Michael smiled at her nervousness seeing her pull at the cuffs of her shirt.

''Why don't you come and have lunch?'' He said sparing her the explanation.

''I'm not hungry really..''

Michael looked at her from down to up, now that she was wearing jeans and a top, Michael's heart ached on how skinny she looked, prison clothes and her baggy PJ's had been hiding this but Sara looked terribly underweight. Her arms were so small, he was scared he might break them if he held them too tight, even her legs, thighs were so thin now, Michael wondered if they could support her weight, and her ribs were visible through her shirt.

Michael felt achingly guilty, he had been eating everyday, at every meal while Sara had been starving in prison.

''Sara, did you look at yourself in the mirror? You look so weak, haven't you been eating?''

''Michael..please. I'm really not feeling hungry.''

Michael sighed. He had observed how reluctant she had been to eat, as happy as she looked by the presence of food, Sara had barely eaten at dinner the previous eve and breakfast.

Anyone else would be starving by now, yet after breakfast he had noticed her being sick, she hadn't threw up but had been retching as she went to brush her teeth, supposedly.

''Sara? Talk to me. Why don't you eat? I've been charging your card every week to make sure you had a supply of everything.''

Sara looked down, half the time, her card was blackmailed and taken by others, who couldn't afford to charge theirs.

During pregnancy Sara was so scared for her baby, she'd agree to anything. And after, she was used to it and was feeling so down she didn't, honestly, care anymore.

''Let's say I uh..some of us could only get a piece of bread and water on some days. On most days actually, I wouldn't have lunch for weeks..I used to be so hungry at first, when I was carrying Mike, but then it felt so normal than eating on meals became weird to me. Lately, I haven't eaten out of my own will because my body doesn't accept it anymore..'' Sara did the familiar move of playing with her fingers and Michael's heart broke as he reached out for her hands.

He wanted to scream, it hit him in the gut, his pregnant Sara had been starving?

And he lamelessly thought filling a damn card with money would be enough.

He should have fulfilled her every craving had she been with him, but still he had been at ease with the idea that she could get a candy bar, a cookie, chips, or a soda, or whatever whenever she felt like in addition to the regular prison meals.

How oblivious had he been ? Sara never told him anything during visitations, she must have known he would drive himself crazy with worry and guilt.

''Oh Sara..I'm so sorry, I wish i could have traded place with you, I never wanted you to go throught all that, never wanted you to be away from Mike.'' Michael spoke honestly with emotion shining in his eyes and Sara smiled sadly shaking her head, not wanting him to take it so seriously, but how could he not ?

''It's not your fault Michael, it's really not. I'm glad, relived you've been there for Mike, I don't know if I would've been able to do this good with him if it were you, in prison.''

''You would have Sara, because you're tough, and because you love Mike.''

''Yeah.'' Sara said unsure of herself.

Michael looked down, he needed to give some time to Sara and Mike alone, needed to step back so Sara could feel confortable with the baby.

''I see you liked Mike's picture?'' He asked noticing it was moved and Sara laughed nodding, embarrassed at being caught staring at her own son, ridiculous as if she'd never seen him, but she had actually never seen him since his birth.

''I made a few albums, I wanted you to catch up on everything so I made an album each month, each has about 30 photos, that makes one per day. You can look at them if you want, they're in the bottom drawer, just below where I keep my shirts.'' Sara smiled feeling a rush of love for him, so thoughtful, so Michael.

''Thank you.'' Michael smiled back.

''We're leaving to buy some stuff with Sucre, you'll be okay?''

''You mean alone with Mike?'' Sara panicked, she didn't knew how to take care of a baby, she could do so many things wrong.

\--

Is anyone still reading this ? let me know :)


	10. Chapter 10 - Plus One Minus Two

''You mean alone with Mike?'' Sara panicked, she didn't knew how to take care of a baby, she could do so many things wrong.

''Maricruz will be here, ask her if you need anything.'' Michael assured.

''Okay.'' Sara hesitantly agreed.

Michael smiled seeing her lack of confidence.

''Sara, you're a good mother, I know that.'' Michael smiled holding onto her hand. Sara tried to smile back, she was completely lost at motherhood and Michael trusted her so much.

Sara reached up to the sixth album, and as much as she felt happy, delighted to see her son growing, at least in pictures, her heart squeezed with pain at the thought that she'd missed out on all of this.

In most of the pictures, it was Mike alone, but in some, there was Lila or Michael, Maricruz or Sucre holding him. Mike was at ease with Maricruz, she'd been the only maternal figure he had, how did it matter if he called Sara mother just for the namesake?

It was Maricruz who was there when he needed to be fed, it was her who he held onto as he slept, it was in her arms he sook solace, she was the one there, even on some pictures, handing him a tooth toy to sooth his ache in one. Sara was a stranger, she was no one, nothing to Mike but a lifeless object.

She was grateful that someone had been there for her son but her heart was broken thinking that someone else took her place as Mike's mother, Sara could only stand and feel like an outsider. They all were like a family, they had spent so much time together that they knew everything about each other and the two childs.

Sara didn't even had much time with Michael, she didn't knew how he liked his coffee, Maricruz did, she didn't knew what he had for breakfast, Maricruz did, she didn't knew which brands he liked best, Maricruz did, she didn't knew what made him happy or pissed, Maricruz did.

Sara was just an outsider she realised looking at a picture where Michael held Lila and Maricruz held Mike while Sucre stood in between them. They had became a family, and Sara wasn't part of it.

Sara had never been part of any kind of bonding, her own family had been broken too soon, she never had a group to call true friends, she had always been in darkness.

She recalled the day Michael and her went to Deb's appartement, when they looked at her friend's family pictures and she later found out she was pregnant, she had wished with all her heart to start afresh, to make a family of her own with Michael, they would be bounded and there will only be love and no shadow of darkness will ever come upon them.

But life seemed to have taken that dream too from her, she closed the album, not being able to look anymore and glanced at Mike's crib, he was wide awake, watching her.

Sara approached his crib and Mike held onto his teddy bear tighter.

''Dada!'' He called out.

''Hey baby, I'm here.'' Sara whispered ever so lovingly.

Mike hesitated when she reached her arms out to him, he finally went to her arms, not wanting to stay in his crib anyway and looked at her face examinating her.

"Mom?" He mumbled as he poked at her nose with his tiny fingers.

Sara let out an emotional laugh.

"Yeah Mike, it's mom.." she kissed his forehead.

Sara's heart broke and she felt tears coming as Mike rested his head on her chest and clung to her, cuddling just like he did with Michael after sleep.

She held back onto her son laying a kiss atop his head and rubbing a hand down his back.

''I love you.'' She whispered into his ear.

Sara began walking through the hallway on the top floor and noticed the young Lila playing with a few baby cubes, Lila was a sweet little girl and as Sara had observed Mike and Michael's bonding with her, she felt sorry not being able to interact with her.

It was hard enough for her to be unable to interact with her husband and son after life in prison.

Mike suddenly not feeling as groggy raised his head and surprised Sara by lunging forwards to the floor, Sara knelt and placed him beside Lila, Mike giggled as Lila passed him a cube, the two infants sharing a complicity Sara never had with anyone.

She was so glad, so happy her son was loved and had a sibling relationship with Lila, when she was a child Sara had felt so lonely, she didn't knew what the sibling relationship meant but watching Michael and Lincoln, and right now Mike and Lila, she could see it consisted of immense selflessness and intimate understanding, it was a bond like no other. Sara smiled watching the two children play for a while.

Mike scrunched his nose suddenly dropping a cube he had in his hands, leaving the task of piling cubes to make a tower, task he seemed so engrossed in just a second before. He looked around, and Sara frowned, he looked so lost.

''Dada.'' He called out in a small voice and Sara's heart twitched, he was feeling abandoned.

''Mike, sweet boy, I'm here. What do you need?'' Sara asked tenderly as she knelt by him and Mike looked at her with those Michael eyes again, as if analysing her whole being, deciding whether she was trusworthy or not.

''Meek..'' he asked timidly and Sara let out a smile, he seemed intimidated, shy by her presence. He was usually so blunt and forward with Michael.

''Time for milk? Okay, Mom will make you some.'' Sara assured him, the toddler seemed to have forgotten the incident of the morning before but she hadn't.

Sara went downstairs, leaving Mike to play with Lila, she took a deep breath once in the kitchen, she could make a bottle of milk properly.

Sara took Mike's sterilized feeder and began pouring the water till the dose Michael had taught her, she carefully withdrew his formula and added the five dosing spoon while being careful not to drop some, it would be too watery.

Once she was satisfied, Sara put the feeder in the microwave, fixing the countdown to the very right second. She stood arms crossed watching the second tickle by, careful to not let it overheat.

When the beep sounded, she retrieved the bottle and failed at first, to put the nipple correctly, she tried again and was satisfied when no drop spilled off at her bending it. Sara then tested the milk on her palms, twice, at two different spots and even poured a drop in her mouth to make sure it wasn't too hot this time.

She tried a third time on her hand but before her brain registered the milk's temperature. Loud cries echoed in the house.

Sara's head snapped up as she left the feeder on the counter running off towards the stairs, as she reached the hallway she saw Maricruz beat her to it and standing in the middle of the stairs cradling a crying Mike, his face was red and he was bawling furiously, Lila stood at the top of the stairs, looking terribly sad and in shock.

''What happened?'' Sara breathed and saw Maricruz shaking her head as she retrieved the wailing baby from her embrace and seemed to examine his forehead.

''How could you leave him alone upstairs? He tried going after you and fell down the stairs.'' Maricruz stated in panic and Sara's heart broke as her lips parted in shock and horror her eyes filling with dread.


	11. Chapter 11 - Inhuman

''How could you leave him alone upstairs? He tried going after you and fell down the stairs.'' Maricruz stated in panic and Sara's heart broke as her lips parted in shock and horror.

She'd been so concentrated in doing right what she had done wrong previously that she made yet another unforgivable mistake.

''I..'' Sara couldn't speak as she brought a hand to her lips.

Maricruz walked down and past her as she called for Lila to hold onto the railing and come down too, the child obliged and Sara watched in shock as Maricruz lay a crying Mike to the couch and tried to examine his forehead.

The doctor in her screamed at her to go and check on her son, to take him to the hospital or do anything to make him alright but the mother in her, told Sara to stay away as she'd done enough damage to her son in only one day.

Maricruz frantically rubbed her finger over Mike's forehead, struggling to take a proper look with the baby's wiggling, she let out a relived breath relaxing. ''It's only a bruise, thank god, _dios mios_.'' She let out in relief and looked at Sara's terrified expression. ''He's okay, it's nothing.'' She said visibly calmed down from the panic she earlier had.

Sara nodded fighting her tears. ''I'm so sorry, I didn't meant to hurt him..you just left your daughter there and I thought..''

''My daughter is two, she knows how to climb up and down the stairs Sara, Mike is barely ten months.'' Maricruz explained in a calm voice but it only broke Sara's heart all the more. She was terrible for Mike, she shouldn't even get near him again.

Sara watched Maricruz taking the still wailing Mike in the balcony to sooth him with open air and Sara watched her cradling him and Mike holding onto her desperately.

''It's okay, _mi'hijo_ , it's okay. Shh..''

Sara looked at her son, a nasty bruise forming on his forehead and tears rolling down his beautiful cheeks. Her heart bled, his cries were piercing her heart, how could she be so useless?

How could she hurt her own son and be so careless? She watched Maricruz rubbing his hair and couldn't stop the tear that felt on her own cheek, the woman had so much affection for Mike. She knew so much about him, and Mike, the way he held onto her shirt and sobbed in her chest revealed how much she meant to him.

Sara shouldn't even come near Mike, he for sure, didn't needed an awful of a mother she was. She was so heartbroken she'd hurt him again, god, she wouldn't ever see Mike if it was for him to get burned and bruised in only one day.

Sara took her hands to her head, feeling like the worst person on earth and still shocked on having hurt him so badly, she quickly walked back upstairs and closed Michael's bedroom door behind her, she looked at Mike's crib and held the blanket of the toddler to her chest inhaling his scent. ''I'm so sorry Mike..'' she whispered tears running down her eyes.

''What happened?'' Michael asked surprised to see Maricruz apply a bruise cream to Mike's forehead, he was calm now but his puffy red eyes told how much he'd been crying.

''Dada!'' He reached out for Michael who immediately dropped the shopping bags and held his son, the baby hid his face in his neck holding onto his father's shirt and feeling safe with his familiar warmth.

''I'm here Mikey, I'm here.''

Maricruz sighed.

''I did like you told me, left him to Sara but I was working and I let Lila play, she left Mike upstairs on his own and he felt down the stairs.''

''You shouldn't have left her alone with him _pendeja_ , is he okay?'' Sucre reacted and Maricruz frowned at his swearing.

''It's okay Sucre, I was the one who told her to let Sara handle him, I wanted her to feel okay, to not feel as if Mari had taken her place.'' Michael said pensive while rubbing Mike's back.

''But Sara isn't ready, I mean she's never ever been with a baby, we've all been doing this for months, we learnt gradually Michael, you can't shove Mike at her and tell her to be his mother.'' Sucre explained.

''I did it for her, I didn't want her to feel like she was a stranger, but you're right, she needs time. Where is she?'' Michael turned to Maricruz.

''Upstairs, she seemed in shock and I freaked out, I didn't meant to make her feel bad Michael, I just got scared for Mike.''

''It's okay, I'll talk to her.'' Michael glanced at Mike over his shoulders, he was almost asleep.

''Here Sucre, take him.'' Michael handed his son to Sucre who held him and Mike trusted his embrace and made no protest. Maricruz went to hold her daughter who looked pretty shocked too by seeing her friend hurt.

Michael opened the door slowly and his heart melted seeing Sara's sleeping form on the bed, she was sprayed out on it and Michael smiled recalling that was an old habit of her, she did it on the SS Minnow, at Deb's, on their nights together before their wedding. His heart clenched imagining the narrow uncomfortable prison bunks she might have slept on, even while being pregnant, when she had needed more space.

And the Michael who had playfully rebuked her on that habit at Deb's would have gladly left her all the bed if she had needed while she carried their son.

He made steps towards her and smiled seeing one of her bare foot out of the duvet, that too being an old familiar habit. Michael's smile faded as he came closer and noticed how she was holding Mike's blanket close to herself, and how her cheeks were wet with trails of tears.

He sank to sit next to her on the bed and he took a hand to her auburn hair that he had so often loved to caress, her hair was so worn out she'd probably need a nice cut and numerous masks for it to be smooth again, at least it was clean and it looked better, cleaner than it ever had through all his visits in prison.

Sara woke by his movement, having learned to have a deep yet alert slumber while in prison.

She immediately sat up, folding Mike's blanket without locking eyes with him.

''Mistakes happens Sara.''

''It wasn't a simple mistake, he could have gotten seriously hurt.'' Sara said in a harsh tone, harshness directed at herself.

''Everyone mess up at first.''

''Don't, don't try to make me feel better Michael. I'm terrible at this, I'm not coming near him ever again, he's gotten you and he has Maricruz. She knows how to take care of him.'' Sara said started to play with her hands nervously without ever locking eyes with Michael.

''You are his mother Sara, Maricruz will be gone in a few weeks, you're gonna be here for the rest of his life. He won't even remember you missing for a few months compared to the love he's gonna get for years.''

''Michael, he fell off the stairs! Do you know how fatal could that have been? In ER I've seen adults with broken ribs and ankles, with un-repearable damages, parylsis, all due to a fall off the stairs. He's a baby, he could have died of it!''

''Sara you need to stop being so judgmental to yourself, he's okay.''

''Right, it's my first day, I've burned him, bruised him. How long till he's not okay anymore?''

Michael took a deep breath and held Sara's arm to make her look at him.

''You need time, to learn things, I wasn't perfect either at first, for a couple of weeks I thought I was an awful dad.''

''You are a loving, perfect, amazing dad Michael, I? I'm terrible.''

''You cried.'' Michael stated and Sara shook her head.

''I didn't.'' She denied.

''You did. And that means you love our little son, it's not as if you don't care for him or that you abandoned him out of your own will. He was kept away from you, and I can see how much it has hurt you, you love him so much you're hurt by the idea of even slightly scratching him Sara.''

''Michael, I didn't say I don't love him, I do, with all my being. But I'm not good at taking care of him, and I may love him to death but it isn't gonna help me much in practice. I don't even know how to handle a child, I've always been alone. You..you're the first person in my life I ever felt so close and affectionate with, but I don't know how is it to be a mother, mine was always drunk or high, never there when I needed her.'' Sara opened up and Michael squeezed her hand.

''Did that stop you from loving her?'' Sara looked up at his eyes.

''No, and that hurt, that hurt because I did love her, she was the only thing I could hold onto. I never want Mike to feel like that.''

''He won't.''

''Michael please, I've felt so lonely in prison that I didn't think I'd ever ask you that, but I need to be alone. This is too fast and I'm messing up.''

Michael nodded.

''I understand. But if there is one thing I haven't planned yet I'm completely sure of is that Mike will love you with all his heart and you'll be so good and caring with him that you'll beat me. I can see it by looking in your eyes Sara.'' Michael gave her a small smile and left her alone to think on his words.

Sara decided no to come around Mike anymore, she would hurt him and it was better for everyone if she stayed away. Michael didn't like how things were going, Sara was living with them but not at the same time. She stayed up most part of the night and slept for three to four hours at maximum. She barely joined them on meals, skipping through lunch and dinner both, she'd just have a little something here and there.

Michael had started working again, the week leave he took to welcome Sara passed and Sara was left alone all day with Maricruz and the two babies, she stayed alone mostly, thinking, and at times she observed how good Maricruz was, at taking care of her little son, she knew how to run a house, she would go shopping, cook, take care of the children and worked too, she was a copyrighter, part time job and in the evening she had started giving spanish classes.

Sara felt inhuman, the time where she was a doctor seemed so long ago, she could barely look at an human and feel compassion anymore, she didn't knew how to be herself anymore, how could she be a mother?

Still, to occupy herself she's started revising all the things she'd learned at medical school, it also brought memories of an old time, when she'd been using...memories she would have preferred no to recall, but memories that oddly felt familiar..it was, as if she almost felt nostalgic of the time she used, and that scared her.

It was terribly hard to see Mike everyday, yet to distance herself from him, but she knew it was for his well being.

Sara watched Michael sleep, he had a hold of his life, and she didn't fit anywhere. She hesitated, then placed a hand on his shaven scalp, she loved hearing his even breathing. It made her feel safe, Sara tenderly rubbed her forefinger across his temple, down his cheek and to his jaw. There were nights where she watched him for hours. She allowed her eyes to dart up towards the crib, where her son lay cutely holding onto his bear. She loved both of them, so much. Then why couldn't she bring herself to form a proper relationship, to bond with anyone outside prison?

Michael opened his eyes to an empty bed, he sighed knowing Sara must have gotten up before him. He heard water running in the shower and got up, he went to the kitchen and served himself a glass of water.

''Morning papi!'' Sucre joined him preparing his breakfast as he was ready for work. Michael greeted him back as he heated the milk bottle he'd prepared in advance in case Mike woke up.

Sucre bit on a waffle and studied Michael's features, he looked like deep in concentration. Michael looked at Sucre and met his gaze. Only LLI could lead him to detect that the generator's left pump, the hot water pump wasn't functioning.

''What?'' Sucre asked.

''Have you taken a shower this morning?'' Michael asked and Sucre frowned offended.

''What do you mean? Yeah I have, do I stink or something.'' Michael shook his head.

''Was the hot water working?'' Michael asked again and Sucre frowned even more in confusion.

''Yeah, it was!'' Michael took the feeder and walked off leaving Sucre confused.

If the hot water was working, then Sara wasn't using it, his ears couldn't hear wrong. He looked over Mike who still slept soundly and put the bottle beside him, in the crib so he could reach out for it if he woke. Michael knocked on the bathroom door. ''Sara?'' Maybe she'd put the cold water on to make him believe she was showering, but he knew her state of mind wasn't right, he didn't wanted her to lock herself in the bathroom if she needed to cry, he was there.

When he got no response Michael tried the knob, it was open, prison showers didn't have doors, even less locks. She had lost the habit of privacy.

He was surprised to actually see Sara showering, not crouched on the floor and sobbing. He stilled, it was nothing he hadn't seen before but he respected her and didn't wanted to pry, she did attract him, so much _god_. She was gorgeous. Her body was familiar, she was his Sara. And he loved her so damn passionately.

But his brain worked faster than his desire noting the raw, red skin. The absence of smoke, indicating the water was cold.

''Michael? Is it you?'' He heard her call out but his brain urged him to do something, she was showering normally in freezing water, not even shivering.

He turned around grabbing a towel and walking towards her, he pulled the water tap down, it was indeed freezing from the few drops that fell on his hand.

''Sara what are you doing?'' He asked covering her with the towel, to shield her body as well as to give her some warmth.

''I'm taking a shower.'' Sara stated the obvious, Michael looked over at her red skin, her hands were almost blue.

''With cold water? It reaches -5 degrees around this time of the year Sara. Are you insane?'' Any normal person would scream in contact with such cold water, it burned the skin and hurt, sucked the air out of one's lungs. Michael was shocked to see her act so normal. She chuckled shrugging as if it didn't matter.

''Michael, it's okay. It's pretty normal compared to the water in prison.'' Michael shook his head in disbelief.

''You're not in prison anymore, use hot water for god's sake.'' Michael yelled in worry and Sara shook her head.

At first, she had whimpered through the whole shower process, the showers in the SHU didn't have hot water, it burned her skin, left her breathless and she had laid trembling on the cold floor of her isolation cell for hours, unable to get some heat. She couldn't feel her body. Maybe around the sixteenth time, Sara could shower without shaking and had grown used to the cold temperature of the water, gradualy.

When she was out of SHU, the guards, still didn't let her use hot showers. They still had a grudge against her and the five months pregnant Sara could care less about water temperature, for, her baby wouldn't survive another beat up session.

She had tried hot water when she was first home, but it had burned her skin and left her with an uneasy, unclean feeling. To her body, a shower was the process of cleaning with the cold water now, it seemed so abnormal but she was used to it and her skin rejected the heated water.

''Michael it's fine, please. I can't with the hot water. Would you please let me finish?'' She asked holding the towel to her chest. Michael shook his head in disbelief and walked out of the bathroom. He sat on the bed, how had she became so inhuman?

What was done to her in the dark place of prison? He was shocked with her eating, sleeping and now showering habits. He had noticed her using the back of a spoon as knife, yeah weapons weren't allowed so that's how she must be doing it but it was so normal to her that she was oblivious to Sucre and Maricruz staring at her manners at the table.

Once, he saw her take out a cold stack of pasta from the fridge and eat it without warming it, she had laughed off telling him prison food had sometimes frost in it. Heated food was a far luxury.

He sighed, bottling his emotions inside, he would trade place with her, he never wanted Sara to see, feel anything like that. And she'd been through so much, all alone. While he was on the outside, warm, fed and safe. And that killed him.

Mike was fed and he and Lila played on the plush carpet of the living room while Michael prepared himself a quick coffee, with Maricruz making herself a proper breakfast, Sucre had left already.

Lila laughed as little Mike crawled around for the small balls they were playing with, one fell from Mike's small hands and rolled off, he crawled behind it and collided with Sara who just passed down the hallway. She looked down and Mike observed her expecting her to give him the ball back. Sara did nothing like that and gave the baby a small smile before passing by him to pick the laptop where she'd left it.

Mike froze for a second, a tiny frown appearing on his forehead. No one had ever refused to play with him, and he knew Sara was now a part of all the people he lived with and therefore he expected her to act like all the three other adults. Michael observed the scene from the counter of the kitchen where he had been sipping his coffee.

Mike looked over at his father not understanding while knowing that his daddy was the closest person Sara was to, they slept all three in the same room and Mike hadn't expect to be ignored like that.

''Mom!'' He called after Sara who was halfway back upstairs, she stood still at his calling out for her and clutched the laptop tighter to her chest, all she wanted to do was hold her son close to herself. Why had things been like that? She still recalled the joy she felt on learning she would become a mother and her heart broke, every relationship in her life turned so complicated. Sara closed her eyes briefly and walked the rest of the way to their bedroom.

Michael saw Mike looking back at him feeling lost. ''It's okay sweet boy, just go get the ball.'' Michael smiled reassuringly pulling his son back into the game so he would forget the small incident.

He heard Maricruz sigh beside him. ''She's been ignoring him for days, he doesn't understand.'' Michael looked down.

''She needs time, after what happened.''

''Yeah but she shouldn't, completely ignore him I mean she doesn't even talk or look at him. He got it that she was someone important for you, that she was part of the family and Michael he can't understand why she ignores him.''

Michael nodded looking at his son, the previous night he had been a bit angry at him for having torn some important papers, Mike's instintiv reaction was always to go and take Sara's framed picture, only this time he had crawled to _her_ fussing around and she had refused to take him in her arms and left the room. Mike had looked at his only reconfort leave the room and started crying, heartbroken at the sudden rejection.

Michael had found him the frame in hands along with his teddy as he sobbed quietly. It had broken Michael's heart, Mike had never felt rejected before, he knew how hurtful it could be for a baby when everyone pays you attention and one person just plainly ignores you.

''I know, she doesn't even come around when he's in bed with me or when I wash or feed him.''

''Do you think it's because of me..I mean of what I said when Mike got hurt. Maybe, I should say sorry.

Michael shook his head. ''No, it's not your words, it's Mike hurting himself that has marked her. She needs some time.''

''Alright, well you're getting late. Don't worry I've got the kids.''

''Thank you Maricruz, just don't push her with anything.''

''Sure Michael.'' Michael walked to Mike and kissed his forehead. ''Have a good day Mikey.'' Mike hugged his dad before he left like everyday.

''Sara? Would you come and help me clean up my dressing?'' Maricruz called out, the two toddlers were asleep and she saw Sara reading on the laptop. Even thought Michael had told her not to, she felt like she needed to apologize to Sara, to clear the air and make a move towards her.

''Uh sure.'' Sara followed her to the dressing were Maricruz had scattered all kind of boxes of clothes.

''Whoa..I didn't think anyone could be any messier than me.'' Sara commented and Maricruz laughed, happy she was feeling at ease.

''Well I do have some problems with buying a lot of clothes, more than I do wear.'' Sara smiled, she hadn't ever been like that.

Not that she hadn't had the means but Sara always kept minimal of clothes and wore the same over and over again.

''So how can I help?'' Sara asked.

''Just put the winter stuff over here and all light tops and summer dresses on this side.'' Maricruz explained, she didn't need any help, she just wanted Sara to feel somehow useful and a part of the family, she'd been acting like a stranger.

They folded and moved the clothes one by one in silence and Sara seemed lost in her thoughts again.

''Erm..I wanted to apologize.'' Maricruz began and Sara looked up confused. ''I'm sorry for the way I spoke to you on the day Mike hurt himself, I've just been with him for a while and I panicked seeing him hurt. I didn't wish to be mean to you.'' Sara nodded.

She had barely heard what Maricruz had said that day, she'd been focussed on Mike's cries, the bruise on his forehead and her own incapacity.

''It's okay, you don't have to apologize.'' Sara said looking at the top she carefully folded. She had been acting so oddly, with everyone Sara realised. She was so thankful to Maricruz, she shouldn't let her feelings of envy ruin that.

''I uh..I needed to thank you for Mike. You're so good with him and you've been there for him since day one, I can't tell you how grateful I am. I admire you, you're a great woman'' Sara said genuinely looking at the other woman.

Maricruz smiled.

''From what I've heard, you're an amazing woman too, Fernando and Michael's been praising you so much, they've told me about how strong you've been.''

Sara gave her a sad smile.

''They both exaggerate, it's because they're both so humble. Fernando is so caring, loyal and helping, he wouldn't hurt a bee. And Michael, he's the one who's done all this.''

''You've done a lot too. Fernando and I wouldn't be together if it wasn't for you, they'd both be still behind bars if you hadn't left the door open. And I couldn't help but feel guilty that we both were together and happy while you were in prison. It felt so unfair. I started feeling better when I took care of Mike, it was as if I too could help and do a little something for you.''

''You don't have anything to feel guilty for, and you've been so good to Mike, I know it's not only guilt, you do care for him.''

''So do you, you love him Sara. I can see that.'' Sara looked down at her hands.

''Michael loves you a lot, you should've seen the way he fought for you and the nights he spent sleepless missing you.'' Sara closed her eyes.

''Michael loves me too much for his own good, I'm not that great. He just overrate me.''

Maricruz frowned. ''You're not a thing he can rate Sara, you're his wife. You're the mother of his child and I know you mean so much to him. And I know how much he means to you too.''

Sara fought the tears.

''Thank you for Mike.'' She changed the subject and Maricruz smiled with knowledge.

''When you feel ready, you can ask me things about Mike, you'll learn Sara. Just allow yourself to give it a try, and don't give up.'' Sara nodded looking at Maricruz.

Maricruz wanted to offer her friendship and tell her she was there if Sara needed to talk but she figured it was too early, they barely knew each other. But at least she hoped Sara felt better.

Sara opened a new box and stopped coming across Maricruz's underwears, silky lingerie, she had never gotten the occasion to wear something like that for Michael, to feel like a woman, a wife. Her eyes fell over something that left her mouth agape for some reason.

Breastfeeding bras. Sara's breath hitched as she found the item, she had been leaking for the first few weeks after Mike was born. And each time she woke with a small patch of wetness on her prison clothes above her breasts, her heart would panic with maternal instinct, where was her baby?

And when she would realise her situation, pain overtook her, her baby needed her, he needed the milk, it was made for him. And her heart would want to cry at the cruelty of the feeling of being separated from her newborn. It felt like the most vital need, to be with her baby. As if they both were two ends of a wire that's been cut in two.

She would later reassure herself that her baby wasn't feeling that emptiness nor that need, he should be warm and fed, not hungry, starving, cold and pained like she was, he was safe in Michael's arms. _Michael's arms_. If the thought reassured the mother in her, it used to leave the lover Sara was in a whole different kind of pain.

''I forgot I had these! Been feeding Lila up to six months, she hated formula's. God it was so hard to get her off of it.'' Maricruz spoke casually, it was a feeling, knowing all mothers had.

Sara looked down, no, she didn't know or remember fondly how it was to feed her child like every mother, nor did she recall how difficult it was for her baby to adjust to formula milk. Sara only remembered wet patchs on cold prison clothes, and how she'd burned her son the first time she gave him a feeder.


	12. Chapter 12 - Prison Changes

Michael had noticed it before, she winced when she walked at times and would shift positions hundred times in bed.

He observed her limping just ever so slightly, only his sharp brain could notice it and sighing as she sat holding some papers she'd been working on. He was happy she was taking interest in medicine again, he loved her for her helping nature and he would be glad to see her working as a doctor again.

Michael joined her, peering at the papers.

''What are you doing?'' He asked slowly, as to not break her concentration.

''Just studying some exemples of bloodworks, I've to make diagnosis but I don't really know if I know this anymore.'' She breathed nervously.

''You'll get back to it, don't worry.'' He watched her bit her lip.

''Yeah, it'll be good to not feel like I lost everything, if I can just, get this right, maybe I feel like myself again.''

Michael watched her, she hadn't failed in anything. She's been the best wife for having killed someone to save him, and go to prison for it. And Michael didn't get how she could call herself a bad mother when she's always placed her baby's life ahead of hers in a cold place like prison.

His eyes scanned her hands moving along the papers, her sleeve moved and that's when Michael's eyes found that awful scar on her arm. He'd seen it only once in visitation but she had hidden it and shrugged it off.

''What's this? I've seen it when I visited you once, it looked pretty old already but it seems..deep.'' Michael let out brushing his finger over the battered skin.

Sara looked away and took a breath.

''When I got out of the SHU..I had enemies, I mean there was a gang who hated me, the leader was a tough lady called Daddy and uh..let's skip all that. Daddy tried to kill me several times before. When I got out of add seg, I was showing and she aimed straight for my stomach, I had placed my arms to cover my stomach and shield Mike, she managed to plant the makeshift knife in my arm before the guard came.'' Michael's lips parted in horro and pain.

''Oh my god..Sara...you should have told me.'' He almost cried puzzled as Sara smiled.

''There was no reason to worry you more than you already were, and besides, I was relieved because after that, Daddy was put to the isolation and I could be uh..well not safe..but not on edge of death at least. It healed pretty fine, I couldn't move my arm for weeks thought. I used to eat with the left one.''

Michael ran his thumb over her skin his heart tearing, why wasn't he there to protect her ? This was all his fault..

''You took this to protect our child, and then you say you're not a good mother?'' Michael asked searching for her eyes. He saw her focus on the papers even thought he knew she wasn't reading anything.

''Michael, let's not go on that line again.''

''Why are you so cold and cynical Sara?'' She looked away.

''Maybe because I feel lost..'' Her eyes fixing the horizon by the window illustrated her words. Michael took a deep breath, why was she lost when he was there?

''What's wrong with your left leg?'' He asked wanting her to tell him everything, not to hide things from him anymore. Sara looked at him with a surprised expression.

''What do you mean? Nothing's wrong with my leg.'' She shrugged with a smile.

''You remember how you promised you'll never lie to me.'' Michael watched her sigh and look at her hands.

''Alright, I haven't got it checked but I'm sure it's sciatica nerve pain. Some women develop that in pregnancy, I had it around the seventh month. I guess the bunks didn't help and uh..well it's something that stays for life if it's not treated immediately. Not that there are any serious solution apart from drugs or surgery. I'm not taking codeine, or morphine in any form.''

Michael gazed at her as she hid her eyes.

''Why didn't you tell me as soon as you were out? You need to see a doctor.''

''No, Michael there's really no need of that. It's nothing, doesn't even hurt that much.''

''You're lying, and I'm taking an appointment with the doctor.''

''Michael I'm fine, really.'' Sara looked at him with insistance.

Michael gave up on the moment but he was determined to do some reshearch and get her to a doctor.

She doesn't sleep, Michael notices. He had thought that it would take her a few days to adjust but the first days were actually the most she's slept since she was out. He knew she wouldn't sleep at night, she could lie awake for six hours straight at times, watching him, watching over Mike. She didn't sleep.

She would doze off in the day, for ten, thirty minutes, anywhere, on the kitchen counter, on the couch, on a chair, against a heather...and that's all the resting she would do of the whole day and night. The first time he'd seen her in such an uncomfortable position, asleep straightly sitting on a chair, Michael had almost woken her up. But now, it seemed she did sleep anywhere but on their bed. He knew it wasn't because of him, no, this was one of the characteristic prison taught her.

Michael observed her slumped form, head resting against the window frame, she sat asleep. Today, Michael decided, he would wake her.

Resisting the urge to smother his hands through her auburn hair, he just placed a palm over her arm, crossed over her chest. She blinked, not frightened like that time long ago after they'd first made love, just surprised and alert.

Alert sleep, something he knew all too well from Sona.

''Michael?'' She called in confusion.

''Sara, why don't you sleep?'' He asked straightforward and saw her frown.

''I was just sleeping.'' She replied with a chuckle.

''On nights.'' He clarified and noticed how she looked down and started pulling at her shirt's sleeves.

''I uh..I do.'' She lied.

''You don't. I have LLI, I can tell by your breathing if you're sleeping or not, and I know you, I know it when you pretend.'' Sara looked in his blue orbs.

''Please, don't lie to me.'' Let me in, please let me help you.

''I didn't sleep back in prison, I was pregnant and scared and I would only sleep in the day, in an area with presence of guards, a couple of hours, three at most. But on nights I didn't sleep, I was scared they'd hurt Mike.'' Michael's heart contracted in his chest.

''And when uh..after he was born, it was in my habits and I had too much on my mind. In the day I always tried to function like a robot, forget your existence, forget I had a baby or at least hid it deep somewhere. It was on nights that I allowed my thoughts to kick in, and I would spend hours thinking about..'' your beautiful face..your hands..your scent..the way you say my name..the feel of your lips against mine..how you felt inside me.. ''Uh..my family.'' She finished.

''I'm so sorry Sara, I know how things can have been hard on you, I know. I've lived through that. But Sara, you're safe now, everyone is safe, why don't you sleep? Is it the nightmares?'' Sara sighed, nightmares did scare her and Sara knew she'd get them everyday if she allowed herself a restful, night sleep. It was only by closing her eyes for micro-sleep on the day, where she had learnt how to make your body rest while keeping your mind awake, that she could seek some confort in.

''Yes and not.''

They used to take the toddlers to the park, every now and then, and each time, Michael had observed other families, couple and their children, with sorrow and envy. Sara wasn't there, and he couldn't help but blame himself. At times, even looking at his friend Sucre, being happy with Maricruz and their daughter had hurt in deep in the heart. And each time, he thought of Sara, of what she might ne doing on that particular moment, locked inside cold walls of prison on warm summer days.

Today, Michael had requested her to come along, and he had hoped, nothing would be as the previous times.

But Michael sat on the picnic sheet while he watched Mike crawl around and play with Lila. Since they had gotten there, Sara had been sitting away from them, near the lake while being deep in thoughts.

And for a while Michael wondered how still could a person stay without being bore but then he thought, time was the only thing taken, yet immensely too much to get in prison. Thinking while sitting in the same position for hours might have been a thing she was used to.

Once Mike had his feeder and fell asleep for his afternoon nap, Michael decided to join Sara, deeply sad on seeing her cold and zoned out to all the happy atmosphere around them, children laughing, playing, Mike himself's been squealing excitedly while he played but Sara had ignored him, once again.

''Hey, why are you sitting alone?'' Michael asked Sara who's gaze remained on the water ahead of her.

''Have you ever thought of moving on?'' Sara asked without looking away from the water and Michael frowned.

''Moving on with what?'' Michael asked thinking she might be speaking about something mundane, moving from the loft ?

''Divorcing me, not that we had a marriage anyway.'' Sara chuckled sarcastically and Michael's eyes grew with worry. That was another trait she'd developed in prison, having this black humor with subjects that were touchy. She should have been hurt, teary while saying that, not laughing it off so easily.

''No Sara.'' Michael said firmly, trying to not sound annoyed with her behavior, he looked at her form and she didn't shiver one bit, thought Michael himself was cold in his jacket and Sara sat in a simple shirt. Wasn't she cold?

''You're quite confident Scofield, didn't you once think this might fail and I could take the 25 years.'' Michael sighed, cold air colliding with his warm breath and forming fog.

''I did.'' Michael admitted honestly, Sara turned her head to look at him, her chocolate eyed meeting his ocean ones.

''And didn't you want to be with another woman, I mean you're a man and you have needs.'' Michael shook his head at her way of thinking, another thing she seemed to be taking from prison, all men are selfish and leave you when you're inside. Sara was even more cynical than she'd been at Fox River.

''Honestly, no. I could only think about you Sara, it's not because you're my wife or that we have a child that I waited.'' Michael started knowing her dark thoughts, he couldn't even blame her, prisons does lead you into darkness. ''It's because I love you, and be it now or during 25 years, I didn't see myself moving on, not even for Mike's sake. You're the only woman I ever loved Sara, you're strong and beautiful and so amazing..I wouldn't ever gotten over you.'' Sara gave him another smirk.

''I'm not that woman anymore Michael, I don't even know who I am.'' She shrugged and Michael closed his eyes.

''I had faith, I always had faith that one day we'd be together, if that day would have come in 25 years, then the faith I had in us would make me go through all these years.'' Sara laughed, hurting his feelings.

''You sound so naïve Michael. I don't think you realise how much you would have changed in (chuckles) even in five years. You're thirty one, intelligent, smart, handsome and loving and you could have any woman you wanted. You would have been 55 when I got out, almost retirement age do you realise that? It's a lifetime! I don't think you would have spent your life over someone you spent a few months with.'' Michael watched her with sad eyes and took a deep breath.

''What's wrong with you Sara? I waited for you, I fought! I'm trying to make this work.'' Sara's sad smile matched his own as she looked at him and reached for his hand, she took it in her lap in both of hers and rubbed her thumb over his smooth skin.

''I'm sorry. I didn't meant to make you feel bad for everything. I just want you to know that I'm not the Sara you loved anymore, I've changed and I can't go back to being who I was.'' Michael cut her. ''I know, and when did I ask that from you Sara?''

Sara gave him a sad look. ''What I meant is, I'm not myself, I suck at being your wife and I suck even more as a mother. And you, you deserves better Michael, Mike deserves better. So if you want to walk out, the door is open. I want you to know that you shouldn't feel obligated to stay with me, ex-con, junkie and murderer, you can leave me Michael. Feel free to move on, take Mike, I wouldn't hold it against you.'' Michael's eyes filled with tears.

Prison could change her, make her the most cold and cynical person on earth but there is one thing it couldn't take, her love for him, she loved him so much she was wishing the best life for him even if didn't include her.

Sara gave him a small smile and stood up, walking away. Michael contemplated the water of the lake ahead of him just like she'd been doing. He knew where this was coming from, she loved them both so much she could do anything for them but she couldn't feel okay with the normalcy of being with them.

''Sara!'' He called after her standing up and making the steps towards where she'd turned from her track.

''When we were at the warehouse, you told me something. You said we shouldn't be together because of what we've been through. Sara you need to know that the world isn't a shallow place where everyone is selfish, people do get attached, people love. There are all kind of beautiful relationships around and the one I have with you Sara, is certainly not an obligation, you don't know how much I love you. If I ever only felt obligated or guilty Sara, I would have thanked you, given you money, a proper start and left you a long time ago, like Nika.'' Sara looked down.

''But I love you, I love you Sara Scofield and till there's love in my heart for you, that door is closed. And you love me too, you do, so much you're ready to make your life a misery so I can be happy. But my hapiness is with you, and you can mock my faith all you want, I know we will get through this.'' Michael gave her an assuring smile and kissed the top of her head before walking away, leaving Sara thoughtful this time..


	13. Chapter 13 - Finding Home

Sara picked a random magazine and began flipping the pages distractively.

Michael glanced over at her. "I'm doing this for your good."

"Right." Sara muttered under her breath.

"Sara..I don't think you're crazy, or that you're broken, you don't need fixing. We're just here so you can speak about how you feel, get better."

They were in the waiting room of a reinsertion counselor, Michael had taken a couple of days off.

He had forcefully taken Sara to a generalist doctor first, who diagnosticed her as underweight insomniac, chronic sciatical patient, and added that she showed signs of depression.

Sara had totally refused to take anti-depressant, and the doctor had debated for over half an hour with her about the drugs he could prescribe to her for her leg, they had finally settled on penicilline.

And default to taking the anti-depressant, the doctor had suggested counseling, psycologist, and reinsertion program.

Sara was angry at life, and to Michael she had every right to be, she spoke under her breath, in a calm anger, snapped, crossed her arms, ignored him.

Being a doctor herself she kept contradicting the generalist, who kept his professionnalism. She had categorally refused the sleeping pills too. And barely agreed on vitames that she lacked.

"Michael, you think I'm a depressive woman who needs fucking pills to live." Sara whispered looking straight at a blank point on the magazine.

Michael smiled and rested a hand on her knee.

"You're a beautiful, intelligent, sane woman, who's got through some traumatic experiences and you need to let it all out so you can move forward."

"You know what ? I'm good where I am, you move forward, see her.." Sara pointed to a model in her magazine. "get someone like her, hasn't she got some great curves ? She isn't the plain flat underweight, depressive Sara."

Michael laughed knowing her anger was a surface for the pain she had endured and kissed the side of her head while she pushed him away. "And what if I prefer Sara anyway uh ? Underweight, fat, wrinkled..I love Sara anyway." He spoke to her ear and Sara shrugged.

"You're just saying that to stop me from running from this pointless, useless appointement."

"Well..it's okay if we do pointless useless things, as long as it's you and me."

"Shut it Michael." Sara muttered and Michael chuckled.

"Sorry." He apologised amused, he had rarely seen her snap or be this pissed.

" ?" Sara was called in and Michael encouraged her to get up, she dropped the magazine and shot daggers at Michael and followed the doctor in.

Reinsertion counselor. Great. In short she was at a con's shrink.

" ..Sara, can I call you Sara ?" The woman in her 40' gently asked as Michael and her sat by her office.

"Oh don't you call us by our inmate numbers ?" Sara shot ironically.

exchanged a look with Michael who smiled apologitically.

"Sara, how long have you been in detention ?"

"Does it matter ?" Sara shot back her arms crossed over her chest and her gaze fixed on a pen laying on the doctor's desk.

Michael took a deep breath and took a hand to Sara's back, he gently caressed her shoulder.

"Sara, you have to be a little more cooperative." He said tenderly.

"Michael..sound like a federal agent questionning me." She looked at Michael and saw the look on his face.

She knew he wanted this to work. He believed she would get better. The problem was, Sara herself didn't think she could be fixed anymore. Still she would try, for him.

"Alright, go on ask. Seventeen months."

"How many did you spend in isolation ?"

"Four, or five. I don't know." She replied looking away.

Michael looked down, he felt extremeley guilty.

"It's written in your file that you were pregnant when you arrived. Did you know it?"

"Yes." Sara started playing with the cuffs of her sleeves.

"How did you feel about your baby then."

Sara bit her lip and Michael reached for her hand.

"I loved my baby, and I was scared someone would harm them." She let out in a strangled voice.

"When you were put in isolation, how did you feel ?" Sara chuckled.

"Relieved. My baby was safe, and I could finally be alone to think, and cry, and sleep."

"But you didn't see your husband for those few months. How did that made you feel ?"

"I missed him.." Sara admitted glancing at Michael briefly with glassy eyes and Michael gulped, his heart tore in two. He had been missing her too, terribly, and he was constantly worried about her.

"I missed him so much that it became surreal. I began to detach myself from all kind of feelings."

"Did you count days ?"

Sara toyed with her hands. "Not really, I mean I wouldn't really count time as in days but rather as the span of time between each meal, each shower. And...by my growing stomach.." Sara stopped and looked down.

"Sometimes I would look down in the dark and feel around and be surprised by how big I was, my baby..it was the only thing keeping me going."

"Alright, then you were back to gen pop ? How was that ?"

"I don't know.. I guess I was still a bit scared but I couldn't bear the loniless and the darkness anymore. So I was glad to take part in a routine that felt at least, a little human."

"What did you feel when you first held your son ?"

Sara angrily wiped the tears that flew on her cheeks.

"Joy..he was so beautiful and I couldn't believe it..love, I knew I loved him more than myself."

smiled. "Those are good feelings, that every mother feels." She glanced over at Michael's own pained face, he was listening to everything without interrupting but his heart was breaking.

"What did you feel when your baby was taken away ?"

Sara's breath itched. "I..it didn't felt real..it hurt so much that I just wanted to think it wasn't real." Sara shook her head looking down as she hid her tears.

"I see, Sara do you blame your husband for your situation ? You went to prison because you took someone's life to save his. You were in lock up while your husband was free, with your son."

Michael swallowed, he felt so ashamed, so guilty, he hated himself for everything that happened to Sara, tears gathered in his eyes too.

"No, no, no. I blame the world for having done this to us, to him and to me. I don't blame him." Sara looked as Michael and squeezed his hand back. "I don't blame you." She repeated and all Michael could see was the eminating love in his eyes.

After a while of dicussing more openly, the doctor had smiled while announcing her analyse.

"Okay, . You won't need more than a few sessions, you're an intelligent person, you're reasonable, and you haven't got anything that can be considered problematic. You haven't accumulated hate, you haven't mixed up your feelings, you know what you think and what you do. That said, you've gone through a lot, emotionally, physically, and I want you to open yourself and to let yourself be helped. You're not alone, you have a husband that loves you, a son that can bring you confort. You have to let them help you."

Sara took a deep breath and nodded in agreement, only half believing the words.

Could it be possible for things to go back to normal all suddenly? Sara didn't knew, what she knew was that she loved Michael Scofield, she loved his familiar scent that made her feel home, she loved the way he pronounced her name she loved his deep, low, articulate voice, she loved his expressing beautiful blue eyes. Sara only knew she loved him. Loved his strength, his intelligence, his devotion, his kindness and every little trait of him that only her heart acknowledged.

And Sara's heart ached even more thinking, that he loved her too, like no one's ever loved her, he loved her enough to put his plan at sake and come save her in the riot, he loved enough to think of her and want to protect while his own life was a chaos at the run, he loved her enough to got to a hell like prison in Panama for her, he loved her enough to want to die for her safety. And Sara's heart just screamed with hundred of others thoughts, he loved her in the way he looked at her, in the way he spoke to her, kissed her..

Why then, had things been so complicated? Why couldn't things feel normal. Sara Scofield was tired, tired of battling with her feelings and her mind. She just wanted to listen to her heart for once, do whatever it told her, even if it was wrong. Because she was tired, sick of thinking, over-thinking.

Sucre and Maricruz had taken the children to the playground, and Sara wanted to just, at least, slip in Michael's arms and close her eyes. Not think anything, not feel anything. After all, wasn't that all sge craved during what felt like a lifetime.

She watched her husband with adoration, secretly as he worked on blueprints, and he was so concentrated it took him a while to acknowledge her presence. Michael looked up.

Sara's eyes drew his attention, she looked at him with so much longing that his heart hurt, it was different, it was a longing for him he's seen all too many times in visitation.

Michael took slow steps towards her and held her hands, finally glad to be allowed that simple contact he had been denied so many times before.

''Sara?'' She felt she might cry at the familiar, tender way he spoke her name. Sara freed one hand to take it on top of Michael's shaven head and rubbed back and forth, she rose on her tip toes bending his head a little to kiss the top of it. A habit she was so fond of, a habit Michael loved, it brought him as much solace as holding her in his arms.

Michael looked at her auburn hair, after the mid-lenght cut it finally seemed to have gained it's vitality and vibrant color back. He took both hands to the side of her face, threading his fingers through the hair he had longed to smell and touch so much. Sara closed her eyes and Michael lay a kiss to her forehead.

He was good with words, he could easily pour his feelings into them by the structural reasoning he's always had. Sara wasn't. She had always had difficulties to speak about her feelings, even after the unending AA meetings she'd attended through her many times in rehab. Still, Sara's words mixed and blurred when talking out her heart. So she'd taken the habit to use small loving gestures as a way to communicate her feelings.

Kissing his hand, rubbing his chest and kissing his head had been her most used ones, though when she was overcome with love Sara would do anything instinctive to communicate that to him. Like when she lay a desperate kiss to his shoulder in the shack in Panama before saying she loved him.

Michael did just realise how much her actions spoke louder than words, his heart was overwhelmed by love and without thinking, he took his lips to hers sealing them in a slow delicate kiss. Sara, startled at first was quick to respond as she held onto his cheeks and kissed him back, she was the one to deepen the kiss, Michael responded as passionately, feeling a surge of raw passion, he wanted to kiss her senseless, how many time had he imagined this when she was not here?

He broke the kiss for a second and traced her lips shape with his fingers. He had forgotten the shape of her beautiful lips, god..her familiar lips, he wanted to kiss them everyday, how many time had he longed to just give her a small peck.

Sara kissed him again, as if breaking the contact between their lips would take him away.

Michael's hand left her hair and lowered to her waist, slipping through her shirt and rubbing the bare skin of her stomach. A silent gasp left her throat as she felt his hands on her skin. He let his hands feel the small changes that had been there, still terribly slim, she had a few lines on her smooth skins, stretch marks he guessed. Michael's hand continued their exploring as their kiss deepened even more, his tongue playing with her as he devoured her mouth. It's when his hands went at her back and he felt the horrible yet sadly familiar scars of her experience in Panama that his lips broke from hers.

He watched her, both their eyes clouded by passion and love, Sara's breath came in small pants and she looked at him as thought it was the first time.

''Michael..'' she breathed out and started unbuttoning his shirt, Michael was quick to get rid of hers and he breathed in, she looked so slim god, he could see her ribs. Her flat stomach's stretch marks were the only witness that she'd ever been pregnant, her waist and..god damn..her arms were so thin. Michael's insides clenched with pain and guilt, she was in that place because of him.

Sara rubbed her hands over his bare chest, still holding marks of his removed tattoo. She kissed his colar bone just wanting to give him all the love her heart's been feeling for so many months. Sara claimed his lips again, hungry, deep passion filling her senses for the man she was deprived to touch for so long. Michael kissed her back holding her by the hips and pulling her closer. He pushed her back against the wall and they were so close, not a bee could pass between them.

Michael's hands rubbed lower to her thighs and Sara gasped against his lips when she felt his perfect digits on the inside of her thigh. She opened her eyes and they broke the kiss, both panting through the passion filled air.

There were no room for questions and doubts as both were soon clotheless and on the bed. When he pushed himself in her Sara wanted to cry, she didn't realise how much she had missed this, not for the pleasure, only for the sheer intimacy of the act of love between them.

He began moving in her and she clung to him, their kiss never breaking, this felt home, it felt so familiar and warm compared to the colds walls of prison, Sara's eyes filled with tears she never let fall. She had missed her husband, they had never been granted a wedding night, this is where she left off her life. This where she should have been starting it.

Michael flipped them over, letting her ride him, wanting to give everything to the woman who deserved so much more than what life gave her. She deserved to be loved, and pleasured, and Michael could at least give her that. He opened his eyes and broke the kiss as he stilled inside her for a few seconds watching her beautiful red locks falling off her shoulders and the forms of her perfect breasts, perkier than before.

''You're beautiful.'' He whispered needing her to know how perfect he found her, he would have wanted to say it so much more times, on their wedding night, on the date he promised her that she never got, on the ocassion of her first medical visit that they'd planned for days (he still remember how nervous she was, and he was devastated that he was taken the right to go through the journey of becoming parent along with her), when he would observe her carry her child in her arms for the first time, on the day of their first wedding anniversary, where he's been alone and crying for her absence with his son beside him. She was beautiful.

His blue orbs met her hazel ones and both their hearts poured their love into that exchanged look.

Sara's lips let out a slow moan and she kissed him again, adorning his lips with her soft ones. Michael held her waist as their sensual movements increased in speed.

Sara had been on top before, but it was never like this. They would both chase their high through the passion and haste of being on the run, of never having enough time, and reach it together.

Not today, she was moving to meet his movements instead of making her own, desperate to give, only to give love and pleasure and passion to the man she loved beyond this world.

Usually, her lips were the first to break away as her body was transported to heights of pleasure, she would pant and whisper his name, moan and at times whimper endlessly. But this time as Michael broke their kiss letting out a groan and calling out her name as he came, Sara kept nibbling on his neck, eyes closed and breathing heavy.

It was when he let himself go that she clenched around him, prolonging his release and finally seeking her own. She came with a gasp of his name as she muffled the rest of her sounds by kissing his lips again. Seconds later, they lay still joined, sweat covering their bodies and pants leaving their lips.

''Sara...oh god..I forgot how amazing you felt.'' His remark seemed to trigger something in her as she tightened her hold on him and closed her eyes shut making a small sound, a crackling hum of contentement and Michael bent to lay tender pecks to her lips through their ragged breathing.


	14. Chapter 14 - Back Together

There had been post-coital cuddling before, mostly in the time between signing their freedom papers and their wedding.

Sara was always so light, she'd hold onto him loosely with them lying in silence until she fell asleep, while Michael would watch her and think about them.

And when she didn't doze off, they'd lay together, legs entangled and talk about nothing and everything, always on a light tone, she'd have a carefree tone and unfocussed gaze and even her body was always relaxed, it was like love making could free her of all her worries for a while and it was just her and Michael, being together.

Not this time, this time Sara was tense, as she laid her head on his chest, her hand gripping on his sides, not too tight, but not the loose way she usually did after sex.

Her red hair was falling off onto his shoulder in a tangled mess and her face was pressed into his chest as he could feel her soft breathing on his olive skin.

Sara had been laying tender, passionate, loving kisses on his chest, every now and then. She did it again, a dozen of times, her soft lips coming to peck his skin, this wasn't like foreplay, no, this was like slow, devoted demonstration of love.

Michael couldn't see her face but bent his eyes to take a look as she stopped for brief seconds, before going for a couple of more kisses, longer lasting this time, Michael's heart sank at the way her eyes were tightly shut and her brows slightly creased, she seemed to pour all her love into her tiny kisses.

''Sara?'' Michael called out her name and she opened her eyes, they were glassy as they focussed on his chest.

She drew in a shaky breath and brought her hand from his side to the middle of his chest, next to her head where her eyes were focussed upon, her eyes looked at his skin with so much love, and her fingers began rubbing his bare skin ever so tenderly, just above his heart.

Sara had previously, skimmed her hands on his chest, drawing playful lines around his tattoo aftet they made love, carelessly rubbing on the skin, caressing affectionately at times but the way she did it this time, pouring all her love into the small act of tenderly, lovingly moving her fingers across his skin...made Michael's heart ache.

He grabbed her hand and brought it to his lips, softly kissing her fingers while she closed her eyes again. He turned over on his side shifting her off his chest to face her, he brought his hands to her hair, threading through her beautiful red locks reciprocating her affection.

She opened her eyes and brought her hands to his face, rubbing his cheeks just like she did on their first kiss, Sara moved closer as she slowly, lovingly kissed the corner of his mouth, twice, before laying the same devoted, loving kisses on his lips. She pulled back opening her eyes and watching him with deep adoration.

''I love you Michael, so much.'' She let out in an emotional voice as her hands rubbed his cheek for a couple of more times before coming to grip his sides again.

''Sara, I love you too.'' Michael paused looking at her with the same love she had for him. ''And I'm not going anywhere, we're together, no one's tearing us apart ever again.'' He promised, wanting her tormented heart to feel better.

Sara nodded, her eyes full of emotion, yet the tears never falling. ''I've missed you, so badly.'' She let out and Michael drew her closer, kissing the top of her head.

''At times I believed I was going to serve my full 25 years sentence and Michael, my heart would explode at the idea of being away from you for so long. I've not only longed for Mike, I've longed for you too, for your touch, for your hold, for your kisses and sometimes just to see you. Whenever I was feeling down, lonely, I've craved you more than I've ever craved for morphine or drinks Michael.''

Michael took a deep breath, feeling his eyes prick too.

''I've missed you too, god Sara, I laid alone on this bed for so much nights, sleepless because I just couldn't stop thinking about you. I've craved to hold you, to at least once pull you in my arms and assure you that it was going to be okay. I've thought so much, I've dreamed and craved what it would feel like to lie in bed with you and hold onto your stomach, feel our baby kick..'' A tear trickled down his cheek and Sara's heartbroken eyes stared at it before tenderly wiping it off. They held onto each other taking shaky breaths and just basking in the feeling of actually being together.

Sara was the one to speak up again, in a voice sounding so vulnerable Michael knew he would be the only one to ever hear it. ''When Mike was born, I wanted you to be there, I..I longed to just at least have a look of love from you..''

Michael's heart totally broke at Sara's admission, his over-thinking mind had tortured him for days, with images of Sara weak and needing him while she gave birth to their son, but hearing her admit it broke his heart all the more.

''Oh Sara come here.'' Michael pulled her to him taking him to her chest as if she was his most precious belonging to hide. Sara closed her eyes taking in his warmth.

Michael closed his too, embracing the feeling of holding his wife, a feeling he'd yearned so many times for.

''I'm so relieved that you waited for me, I had faith in you Michael, but prison is a dark, dark place. It plays such cruel tricks to the mind. There were a few moments I felt so lost, 25 years is a long time, I thought you'd eventually forget me, move on, the visits would space out and stop, and you'll forget my existence...just like all the women's husband, and that scared me, that scared me so much.''

''I would never have forgotten you, and Sara..I've loved only a few people in my life, you can be sure I can't ever move on from you, I would've lived for our child, but my heart would always been with you...'' Michael trailed off overwhelmed by his own emotions. Sara kissed his neck, where her head rested.

''Things are going to be fine, we're together now Michael, and I know that even if I and Mike don't work out, I'll always love you more than anything and be there for you, and I know you will be there too. If they've taken Mike from me, I'm just relieved I haven't lost you too.''

''You haven't lost Mike, Sara. I promise you, this will work out, one day we'll be a family and we'll be so happy that any of us won't even think about this anymore.''

''Being in your arms had always felt like everything was fine.'' Sara's voice trailed off and Michael was glad to realise by her even breathing that she was finally at peace and falling asleep.

Yet she still kept a strong embrace on him, as if someone would snatch him away in her sleep. His heart went out for her, she was so gutturally, deeply, rawly afraid to lose him again.

Michael kissed the side of her head and kept her close. He thought about their complicated, heartwrenching past, but then felt hopes for their future.

And he too felt peace, because unlike the previous times when he thought about future, Sara was here, right here, in his arms.

It was early morning and Michael woke up to an empty bed, after checking Mike was still asleep in his crib, where he had put him after a feeder the night before, he made his way to the bathroom and not hearing any noise coming from inside he opened the unlocked door. He froze at the spot, Sara stood only in her uderwears in front of him, plucking her eyebrows.

After the intense moment they had the night before, she wanted to be a woman, to feel like a woman, feel like herself. She hadn't felt human in so long, let alone attractive, the last time Sara had felt she was pretty was on her wedding day.

She wanted to be back to her former self. Be a minimum decent for Michael, so she started by shaving her legs and then using some hydrating cream for her face and the parts of her body like ankles and wrists that had been wrinkled by dryness.

She used very small amount of make up, enlightening her lips and skin tone, before she decided to do her brows, not that there was much hairgrowth but she had to define the lines and shapes properly again.

Michael saw her beautiful reflection in the mirror and stood still, he closed the door behind him and Sara turned, stunned to see his passionate gaze. She didn't think twice before leaving her activities and closing the distance between them.

''You look beautiful.'' Michael smiled and let out reminding her of the way he'd said it on their wedding.

She smiled and brought a hand to his cheek, rubbing softly and admiring his deep blue eyes. He was beautiful too, she was so glad to have him. Sara smiled fondly and lay a kiss to his chest, near his heart, a new form of affection she developed after the previous day.

''You know, I still wonder where my filet mignon date might have gone?'' Michael smiled at her light tone.

''And I still wonder where my wedding night might have gone? Even if you wanted it all simple, I had planned things you know.'' Sara let out a laugh.

''Did you ever not plan anything Scofield?'' Michael smiled.

''I didn't plan falling in love with a certain prison doctor.'' Sara looked up and saw the passion in his eyes.

Both leant it and their lips met in a tender kiss, Michael nibbled at her bottom lip as Sara brought her hands to his jaw, his hands went on to play with her nape as he slipped them lower. Sara deepened the kiss her tongue seeking entrance and playing with his, he kissed her back, pushing her slightly behind so her back collided with the sink. Michael's hands caressed her smooth skin before slipping on of them inside her bra.

Sara gasped into the kiss and Michael swallowed her moan of pleasure as he began drawing circles around her round breast, before taking her nipple in his finger and playing with it, Sara's head arched backward as she broke the kiss and Michael took the advantage to kiss her neck, feverishly as his other hand went behind her back and reached the claps of her bra.

He undid it and led the piece of fabric down her shoulders and off her arms, Sara's hands eagerly pulled off his own shirt. ''We should definitely make up for the wedding night.'' Sara said and Michael laughed.

She pressed herself against him, bare skin to bare skin and he took her lips in his again, running his hands down her back, and rested them just above the waistband of her thin panties. Michael grind into her further, earning a moan from her as she felt his desire against her lower stomach.

''Michael..'' she pants and without warning, he dipped his head to her chest, laying passipnate kisses around the soft skin of her breasts, goosebumps formed on her skin and he closed his mouth around her nipple.

Sara hissed, holding his head and dipping her own to lay soft kisses atop his short cropped hair. Michael passionately adorned her breast as his hand worked on the other, making it as hard as the one he was nibbling at.

When he raised his head, she didn't let him go on with his ministrations as she passionately kissed him again while playing with the waist band of his shorts, they were soon on the floor and Sara moaned feeling his hardness against her thigh.

Michael dipped his hand in the back of her panties and squeezed her behind, earning a soft giggle from her, he smiled too at her playfulness as she broke the kiss and lay a couple of kisses on his own nipple.

In one swift movement her underwear was on the floor, Sara wrapped her legs around his hips and Michael carried her by the waist as he pushed her against the side tiled wall, her back collided with them with a small thud and Sara panted as the feel of cold tiles touching her bare back and the warm, burning hardness she felt pressed against her own hot, wet entrance.

''Oh god..Michael..'' She let out and heard him hiss his pleasure in her ear. Michael pulled her up and Sara moaned at the friction, Michael sighed feeling her wetness again his lower stomach, Sara's eager hands reached for his boxers pulling them down and groaned at the feeling of being bare skin to bare skin.

Michael paused and both looked in each other's eyes, Michael kissed her again and Sara responded until he lifted her and impaled her in one movement. She felt him inside her, filling her complitely and she buried her face in his neck while he pressed his against her auburn vanilla smelling locks.

''Michael'' Sara moaned and he tightened his hold on her. ''Ah..Sara.'' he groaned as he felt her hot core envelopping him.

Sara lifted her hips, encouraging him to move and Micheal lifted her, moving out so only his tip was left inside her, and thursted back into her, filling her to the hilt earning a low gasp from her.

Her hips met his thrusts and both moaned in synchronization with their passionate lovemaking.

Michael felt her hot breathing coming into pants against his neck, he opened his eyes and caught the sight of her passion filled features in the mirror of the adjacent wall, her breasts were pressed again his torso and she held onto his shoulder, her lip parted in pleasure as she moved to meet his thrusts, the sight was almost enough to send Michael over edge.

He groaned into her hair and his hands went down to hold one of her thighs, he held them to his hips and heard a loud moan from Sara at the change of angle. He could feel the heat radiating from her body and her hands holding him tighter. She was close.

Michael stilled for a second before slowly, slipping out of her folds almost entirely. He heard her whimper of protest and then agonizingly slowly thrusted back inside her.

''Oh..Michael.'' She moaned and it took all of his resolve not to let go right now, he started thrusting back, harder, increasing his pace and Sara squirmed beneath him, her hips unable to meet his movements anymore.

Michael angled her body to fill her complitely and Sara gasped, feeling his pubic bone hit her throbbing bundle of nerves with each thrust.

She moaned over and over again before he heard her cry out and still.

''Oh..Michael..Michael..'' she chanted endlessly, her realease hitting her hard and as he felt her inner muscles clench around him, that was it for Michael. ''Ah yeah...Sara..'' He thrust into her relentlessly riding down both their orgasms.

Sara opened her eyes, panting and her eyes felt on their reflection too, Michael stilled coming down from his high but neither moved, Sara still clenching around him as she held onto him.

Both pressed their forehead together and their noses touched, they felt each other's heavy breathing on their faces and Michael pushed back Sara's sweaty red locks from her eyes.

''I love you Michael.'' Sara said after having kissed his jaw. ''I love you too Sara.'' He reciprocated kissing her nose and Sara sighed contently. This felt like everything was fine, like they were back where they left off.

Finally, Michael slipped out of her folds, her body aching from the loss and she let her shaky legs touch the floor again, Michael held her waist to steady her and pulled her to him. ''I missed you so much.'' He breathed in her hair. ''Me too.'' Sara whispered as she pressed her face into his chest.

Both held each other, reliving in the other's presence and making up for all the time that was snatched from them.

After a few seconds, Michael pulled back. ''Mike will wake up soon.'' Sara smiled, even if she felt like laying in his arms the whole day, she nodded.

Michael smiled threading his fingers in her hair, he didn't want to take advantage of their intimate moment to pressurize her with their son.

He kissed her lips, three times lovingly. Sara closed her eyes and took his hand from her hair. She kissed his knuckles just like she'd done in that cold infirmary. But instead of letting his hand go she held it against her heart. ''Thank you.'' She whispered, grateful to have their relationship back. Michael gave her a smile and tenderly rubbed a finger over her scarred arm.

She held a towel around her body and bent to hand him his clothes. ''Here.'' Michael smiled at her dressing himself, he gave her a last look before exiting the bathroom.

 **Leave your views, the rating should definetely be changed now..**


	15. Chapter 15 - New Territory

Sucre sat on the dining table pretending to read a magazine but his eyes kept darting toward the kitchen, where Michael and Sara were making breakfast, something changed, he could tell by the look Sara gave him while passing him the pan or the intense observing Michael did as she wiped plates with a cloth, they both reached for the same plate and Sara blushed, beaming as he let her take it with a grin on his lips.

It was unmistakable, they practically behaved like newly wed and the spark he earlier saw during their shared time before their wedding was back.

''Don't you think something's up with them.'' Sucre whispered to Maricruz who looked too busy in buttering her toast to pay attention to their actions.

She looked up at her husband confused for a second and he eyed at Michael and Sara.

''Yeah they do look happy. They deserves happiness don't you think?''

''They does, but there's some magic there _mira_ , it's not usual.''

Maricruz frowned.

''You see magic there? Fernando they've been weird since Sara came back, I just see they're talking again, it's a good progress.'' Fernando rolled his eyes.

'' _No es progresso pendeja,_ they're back to being what they were.''

''Fernando, I don't want to jinx them, they're so many complicated things.''

''Crap, they're married, we make up complications at times.''

Sara walked off towards the hallway a smile plastered on her face as Michael joined them with a plate of pancakes.

"Blueberry pancakes, Linc's favorite breakfast." Michael said with a smile.

Maricruz smiled back and thanked him as she took a pancake in her plate. "So when is he coming up to visit us your brother? He left just before the trial, didn't even meet Sara." Maricruz asked changing subject sensing Michael must have noticed the hushing and sudden quietness as he approached them.

"He had some problems with the dive shop, Sofia can't take care of it alone and all LJ does is watching chicks in bikinis on the beach." He smiled, Michael knew they were speaking of him and Sara earlier, and he couldn't ignore Sucre's staring since he sat on the table.

"Did you get laid _papi_?" Sucre asked forwardly as Maricruz's eyes widened and Michael almost choked on his food. He swallowed and looked down.

" _Dios mios_! Here it goes again. You know back at the warehouse we all had to stay upstairs and avoid nightly trips to the bathroom because you and the doc couldn't get your hands off each other." Sucre teased.

"Stop making us sound like horny teenagers to your wife." Michael hissed.

"Mari, you can ask Linc when he comes." Sucre laughed.

"You all were just jealous I was the only one who got to be with my girl."

"Your girl?" Maricruz quoted joining Sucre in pulling Michael's leg.

All three of them looked at each other before laughing.

"So uh..things worked out between you both?" Sucre asked genuinely happy for his friend.

"I always knew they would, you both look like made for each other." Maricruz smiled taking a sip of her coffee.

"Yeah, I'm glad. We've been through a lot and the only way for us to heal is to be together. I just want things to work out with Mike too, I want a chance at having a family." Michael said his eyes moist with emotions.

"Don't worry man, she's his _madre_ , can't ignore him forever." Sucre reassured him.

"I know, but I think we should do something, to help her." Michael spoke looking at Maricruz.

"What?" She asked.

Michael inhaled, he felt sick for planning about this but he wanted Sara to trust herself with Mike, and he knew he had to give her a push.

Sara heard Mike's cries and went to his room to check on him, the baby had woken up and was wailing in his crib.

''Michael! Michael, baby needs you.'' She called out loudly.

Downstairs Michael looked at Maricruz and nodded.

''Uh..I'm in the bathroom Sara!'' He called out as reply.

Sara gripped on the crib's edge.

''Maricruz! Maricruz!'' She called out again running towards the door.

''I can't Sara, the potatoes are going to burn.'' She replied.

Sara walked back to the crying baby looking here and there frantically. His cries were breaking her heart.

She bit her lip and lay a hand on his chest trying to sush him in vain. Sara ran her hand over his head but the baby's cries only got louder as he trashed around the bed. Her heart couldn't take it when she saw tears dropping on his small cheeks and she scooped him up in her arms against her chest.

Mike hit her with his small fists and pulled at her hair as he fought her unfamiliar embrace but Sara held him close and began rocking slowly saying sweets words in his ears.

''Michael hurry up!'' She called over his loud cries, feeling panicked.

Mike cried for more than five long more minutes and Sara felt desperate for him to be quiet, to feel safe and loved. She couldn't even procure her son a reassuring embrace.

After a while thought, when he felt Sara's hand rub his back and her gentle voice, he stopped fighting her arms and leant on her shoulder, sobbing quietly. Sara rocked him back and forth as she paced around his room, finally glad he was quiet, thought she guessed it was more from exhaustion than from her calming.

''I've got you my sweet baby..I've got you. Don't you cry, you're not alone. I love you.'' She whispered in his ear and kept pacing while rocking him for a few minutes. Sara realised this was the closest she's been with their son since his birth. Her heart swelled with an unconditional love.

When his breathing evened out and she didn't feel his occasional sobs anymore, Sara reluctantly pulled back to check if he was asleep but was surprised when Mike stared at her with big eyes.

''You don't wanna sleep anymore?'' Sara talked to the baby who seemed to analyse every feature of this new person.

''I'm your mom, I know you don't know me and this is scary, it is for me too but we'll be okay right?'' Sara spoke to the quiet child feeling a sudden assurance in herself, holding Mike was a feeling she'd longed for so many times, it brought her so much adoration for the little baby that she and Michael had created that her heart melted. Mike was definitely worth a try, she couldn't give up on him so easily.

And that perspective scared her but what if one day, Michael she and Mike could be a perfect family? They could, nothing would come in their path again right? All she knew was that she loved her son too much not to try, even if it could include risks.

Mike didn't protest when she pulled him back against her chest and rocked him again.

''I've got you my boy, mommy's here, you're okay..'' Sara whispered in the baby's ear.

Michael walked to the baby room and watched from the door as Sara cradled their son, he smiled his heart melting. It was the first time he'd seen them together. He didn't worry for Mike, he was a small baby and he'll adjust. It was Sara and her insecurities he was worried about.

But hopefully, now this must have given her some confidence, she was a wonderful mother and Michael knew that, he had seen the love for their child in her eyes even before it was born. During visitation too, hearing about him made her bright up like nothing else.

And the way she showed him her affection today, her sweet caress and kisses on the top of his head, Michael melted and all he wanted was to take them both in his arms. But he knew he needed to leave them alone for a while, so they could have a moment to themselves.

Sara observed as Michael made not one, not two, but three bottles of milk for Mike.

She didn't want to intervene, she felt she hadn't got the right to, and he knew better. Normally Mike would have one of 800ml each hour, but Michael knew better.

So she just shrugged the matter and shared a few nervous glances with him while she made herself some coffee.

She looked up as he placed all three of the bottles in the fridge. Michael turned and caught her staring before she lowered her eyes and grabbed her mug to leave.

"Did you want to say something Sara?" Michael noted the hesitancy and nervousness in her mannerisms.

He didn't want them to keep anything from the other. They'd spent the few previous nights holding each other and speaking of everything with sincere honesty. They opened up and the talking was great, they could feel like it had started to be a way to push the nightmares away, to put all bad feelings away.

Making love was great too, each gesture and touch was meaningful. They were close, emotionnally and physically, and more surprinsingly they had managed to developp a mundane routine, something they never ever got through the chaos of life on the run.

She knew now, how he liked his coffee, and which were his favorite shirts to wear. And he knew, that she was a bookworm and a very dedicated doctor with her reshearches, he would've wanted to know how she was in med school.

"Yes..uh no, no I meant no." She fumbled with words in reply to his earlier question.

"You can tell me anything." Michael led her on.

"Um..why did you make three bottles for Mike, he only needs one for the time and this isn't the right dosage."

Michael smiled, she had picked out the change in Mike's feeding routine, that meant she had started to know how to take care of him, to know his little habits.

''That's right, it's because today he's gonna need three bottles, I've put a a higher dosage so he doesn't get hungry in between the three. It's okay, it's not much of a change.'' Sara nodded, but she didn't understand why he'd make them now.

''What's new today?'' Sara asked curiously, maybe she was missing something about the baby's care.

''Well, today Mari and Sucre are going out with their daughter for a family day, they need to discuss a few things and find a new house. And I'm leaving for work soon.'' Sara frowned before putting two and two together and she almost gasped in surprise.

''Michael, you can't leave me alone with Mike. I don't know how to do anything, I'm going to hurt him, something will go wrong..I..I can't do this.'' Sara put the mug down and took a deep breath trying to not let panic invade her.

 **leave a few words :)**


	16. Chapter 16 - New Horizon

''What's new today?'' Sara asked curiously, maybe she was missing something about the baby's care.

''Well, today Mari and Sucre are going out with their daughter for a family day, they need to discuss a few things and find a new house. And I'm leaving for work soon.'' Sara frowned before putting two and two together and she almost gasped in surprise.

''Michael, you can't leave me alone with Mike. I don't know how to do anything, I'm going to hurt him, something will go wrong..I..I can't do this.'' Sara put the mug down and took a deep breath trying to not let panic invade her.

''Sara, Sara listen to me. You're going to be fine.'' Michael was cut. ''I'm not Michael.'' She firmly stated.

Michael held her shoulders before cradling her face with his hand as her panicked chestnut orbs met with his comforting ocean ones.

''You love Mike, we both know that. I trust you, I've told you everything by now and if I can leave Mike to 16 years old babysitters for a few hours, then why not you?''

''Because I..Michael I'm scared.'' She admitted looking in his eyes, he smiled at her.

''I know, but trust me Sara, once you get through this day on your own, things are going to be much easier. It's just a day, Mari'll wash and dress him, all you have to do is heat these bottles and fed him, put him to nap around 2PM and change his nappies. You can do that can't you?'' Sara breathed, he was putting so much trust in her, she could see how much he wanted this to work, she owed him a try.

''Okay..but uh...can I call you if I need?'' Sara asked and Michael smiled.

''Yes absolutely, I'm gonna call you after lunch to check on you, but you can call whenever you need.''

''Is Mike gonna be okay with staying alone with me?'' Sara asked still unsure.

''He's gonna fuss a bit, but he'll get used to it. If he cries too much and refuses you, just lay him in his crib.'' Sara chuckled.

''The irony is that he feels safer with a picture of me, than with the actual me.'' She said looking at her feet.

''Soon, you're gonna be the one he feels the safest with.'' He promises stroking her auburn locks.

''I'm not sure of that.'' Sara said on a breathy laughter and leant into his touch before resting her head to his chest, hugging him for support. Michael held her, wanting her doubts and fears to disappear.

''I love you, thank you for having so much patience with me.'' Michael kissed the top of her hair and Sara closed her eyes. ''You've done quite the same .'' Sara smiles against his chest and kiss it before pulling back.

''You know I've been thinking, when I get back to being a doctor, I want to be called .'' She admits with a corny smiles and Michaels leans it to kiss her soundly.

''Has a nice ring.'' He murmurs and Sara smiles, kissing him back.

Sara walked through their bedroom and could see a baby paper hung on the wall that wasn't there before.

Curiously, she took it in her hands and a smile played on her lips realising what it was. Michael had written down Mike's baby schedule in details, times of his feedings, reminders of diapper checking, playing time, napping time..

Sara's heart melted with love for Michael, he really was a hands on dad, he knew everything about his son and him leaving indcations for her just showed his evident love for her too. She felt her chest swell as her eyes unvolontarily moistened. He had detailed everything for her and she flipped the papers and a chuckle escaped her lips.

There was a board with a list of things Mike likes, and a list of things he dislikes. The first was filled with peek-a-boo, cubes, his rabbit bear, his balloons pool, bathing with Lilah, crawling and mom's picture. Sara smiled at the last. The second list was filled with dark, eggs, anything green colored, being bare foot, rain, sleeping without his blanket and daddy's beard.

Sara chuckled at the last one and she sighed in contentement running her fingers over Michael's neat handwriting. He was adorable and she noted she needed him to thank him for this later.

Sara felt positive, she would do her everything to not let Michael down. This would work out, she hoped wishfully.

She smiled and bent over the sleeping Mike, he held his bear while he slept, sprayed across his bed diagonally with one foot out of the blanket, Michael had told her that he had picked out that habit from her, for, he slept on his own part of the bed and Sara was the one who always took his space.

Back at the warehouse, in their small boat, Michael had told her how she sometimes rolled over him with her head resting on his chest or hitting his chin and waking him up. Other times, it was her legs that ended up between his or on his stomach.

Michael had let her and never woken her from the little sleep she got between Scylla cards and nightmares, but when asked, she would totally deny her sleeping habits and he would laugh to himself at how undisturbed her sleep could be in whatever position her body took. He doubted she could fall over the boat bunk and still be deep asleep.

Sara shook her head trying to remove the smile from her face as she pulled the blanket to cover Mike properly and tried to put him back in a more confortable position. However it seemed her son's slumber wasn't as deep as hers because he woke from her movements and hugged his bear closer staring at her.

Sara smiled, he looked extremely cute, just like Michael, when he was groggy after sleep.

''Hey Mikey.'' She smiled at the boy who's tiny brow furrowed slightly as he looked past her to analyse the room.

''Dada?'' He called our for his dad not being used to waking up to anyone but him.

Michael was already gone for work and Sara reached out to pick him, just extending her arms and waiting for him to make the decision.

''Dada's at work, so today, Mike and mom are gonna spend some time together.'' She explained knowing Mike couldn't understand but hoping her talking would put him at ease with her.

Not wanting to stay in his crib anyway, Mike went for her arms and Sara smiled holding her son, she hadn't acknowledged him for a while, she kissed the top of his head running a hand through his slightly frizzy hair.

''Had a good night baby?'' She spoke while carrying him downstairs to heat his bottle, he hadn't asked for it but she knew, he was just too groggy to say anything so he placed his small palms over her shoulder and rested his head in the crook of her neck.

Once in the kitchen, Sara opened the fridge and Mike abruptly raised his head. He looked at her in such an adorably timid way Sara almost teared up.

''Meek?'' He asked in the tiniest of voice and Sara grinned and kissed the top of his forehead, she loved her son so much, tears actually pricked her eyes but she pushed them back, how could she have been away from her baby for so long ?

''Yeah, I'm gonna make you some milk..'' Sara began grabbing a bottle from the fridge. ''Actually, your dada already made them and we'll just heat them.'' Sara explained to the baby using Mike's appelation for Michael to be more familiar.

Mike smiled slightly his eyes brightening up. ''Dada!'' Sara laughed at his enthusiasm.

''Yeah, you love him don't you ? He's a great father, you know mom is so proud of him ?'' Mike didn't seem to understand her words so he observed her for a while, before his hand reached out for her hair, hesitant at first then more firm. But before he could complete his action, Maricruz interrupted them.

''Mike! Don't pull mama's hair!'' She scolded and Mike pulled his hand back with a guilty look, Sara laughed finding his each thing adorable. The infant inspired her so much tenderness.

''He does that all the times to me, I tell you don't let him or he'll be pulling out half of your hair.'' Sara kissed Mike again, not being able to be angry to him like Maricruz just did.

''Not giving you too much trouble ?'' Maricruz asked picking up a cereal bowl for her daughter.

''No, he's an angel.'' Sara said with loving eyes rested upon Mike.

Maricruz passed by them and Mike reached out for a cereal, his aunt slapped his hand.

''No cereal for you little munch!'' She said kissing his forehead.  
The microwave bipped and Sara got the milk out and checked the temperature.

''Tia!'' Mike called out after Maricruz extending his arms, he wasn't used to Sara feeding him, Maricruz was the one person he felt the most confortable with after his father.

''As you can see Mike I'm busy, you'll have to drink with Mom.'' Maricruz raised her hands full of groceries to explain to him while Sara shook the feeder to remove any excess powder.

''Mom?'' Mike looked at Sara's face and he brought a tiny hand to her cheek and pinched it, Sara smiled, he still didn't believe she was an actual person and not only a picture, an object.

''Yeah your Mom, remember how you used to go crawling to Mom's picture when I scold you? Well she's here now.'' Sara observed as Mike seemed to listen to Maricruz attentively with that little twist of his brow as if to understand what she was saying.

Mike looked back at Sara and then at her hands. ''Meek!'' He shrugged the complicated matter to focus on a more primal need and reached out for the bottle.

Sara fed him, for real this time, laying beside him and holding the feeder for him, she observed him with pure adoration, taking in each suck he made on the nipple, he looked so peaceful. His eyes darted everywhere, focussing on everything in the room but barely noticing the insistant way she stared at him.

Once he was done, he removed the bottle from his lips and handed it to Sara, her eyes watered by that simple gesture of him and she wiped a drop of milk from the corner of his lip with her thumb.

''You done?'' She asked and wasn't ready when he sat forward and went for her arms, she chuckled cradling him in her lap.

''Ball!'' He spelled rightfully and Sara smiled.

''You want to play uh? But dada's written a schedule for us to follow, now it's time for your bath, but you love your bath don't you?'' Mike looked at her curiously and simply watched her, curious and intrigued at the same time.

Sara smiled and prepared all the things she needed for his bath, making sure she hasn't forgotten anything and then picked Mike to get him to his small tub. When she undressed him, Mike protectively covered his chest with his arms earning a chuckle from her.

While he felt safe with her, knowing she was a member of the family and that his Dada and Tia trusted her, Mike still felt shy and ackward, reserved and not completely open with them as he would be with his father or the Sucre's.

''It's okay Mikey, it's me, it's mom.'' Sara assured him, Maricruz was supposed to be bathing him but she hoped she was making the right decision in trying this on her own, she didn't wanted to mess up again.

Mike simply stared at her sitting still in the tub awckwardly and Sara smiled.

''Hey? Don't be shy, why don't you play?'' She handed him a plastic duck and Mike hesitantly took it, his eyes looking too serious to be playing.

He knew this was new and if he hadn't got an adult's brain, his baby instincts told him trusting someone new was no good.

''Okay, you don't want to play with ducky-man, I will. And here he goes jumping from your shoulder to the ocean - whoosh - he swims through and goes behind you, ah wait he's on your head, Mike watch out - oop!'' Sara moved the duck with her voicing and Mike's eyes followed it before she crashed the toy in the water, immitating a plungeon and splashing some over Mike and her both.

Mike giggled amused by her actions and he reached for the duck, splashing it in the water again and again, wetting Sara completely. But she didn't care, she wouldn't give up these first moments between her and her son for anything.

Seeing he was at ease playing, she took the washing gel and started applying some to his body, her fingers ever so delicately rubbing his skin.

Mike began splashing more water and Sara eyed him, knowing he wouldn't behave like that with Michael, her whole shirt was wet.

''Mike! Young boy, dada's not gonna be happy if I tell him you flooded the bathroom again.'' Sara said grabbing a wrist of her baby who exitedly laughed, splashing more water at her.

''Dada!'' His face brightened at his father's name and Sara smiled, tenderly rubbing through his hair, managing to massage and shampoo him through his rapid movements.

After letting him play for a while she picked him up and covered him in a towel, her heart melted at how cute he looked tucked in the fabric with his wet skin.

She placed him on the bed and there came the task she dreaded, dressing him. It took her three tries to get his nappy on. Mike had been trashing with his leg but upon seeing her repetitive failed attempts he stared at her with a confused look, Sara couldn't help but laugh and he laughed too, staying still and letting her finally succeed.

Putting on his onesie had taken a couple of tries too, she messed up the buttons each time. She cleaned him and brushed his hair, laying a small kiss to his nose in between, she was in complete adoration of the baby she'd loved so much, yet that she's been kept away from.

Once his tiny feets were neatly tucked in socks, she put him to the carpet where he crawled and began playing with his toys. She picked up the towel and all the baby Mike items and smiled looking at him, he was adorable and the whole room just smelt of his cream and baby stuff, of him. And that made her heart melt. She was already feeling closer to him, Michael was right, babies doesn't need much time to get attached to someone.

It was almost Mike's nap time and she had given him his feeder, peacefully watching as he sucked the milk with his tiny adorable sips and gulps, his small hands handed her the feeder and Sara moved closer to him, putting a hand on his waist protectively while the other went to massage his temple, a successful method to put babies asleep.

Sara watched him expecting him to close his eyes but Mike didn't, he laid calmly and she smiled and brought her fingers to his forehead, she began stroking his temples gently, knowing the calming effect it can have and hoping it would put him to sleep.

Mike watched her, sharing an intimate moment with this person for the first time and he abruptly turned and reached for the picture on the nightstand. He held it and looked at Sara who didn't stop her gentle movements.

He looked back and forth between his mother and her picture and then put the picture aside and leaped to her arms. ''Mom!'' He said and planted a kiss on her cheek.

Sara's heart soared and she held him to herself trying her best not to cry. ''Oh Mike..baby...I love you so much. Yeah I'm mom, I'm here now, I'll never let anyone take you away from me again.'' She vowed to herself and kissed his head and gently rubbed his back with all her affection.

He pulled back and she kissed him again, sniffing at the sudden surge of love from her son, god, babies didn't need much time to get attached to someone. And Sara's heart had always loved him but never did she get even the tiniest of interaction back after his birth. She smiled, stroking his hair and massaging his temples slowly.

Mike watched her until his eyes closed and he fell asleep. Sara however didn't, she watched her tiny son sleep and her heart was filled. She had to stop herself from stroking his back and head, he was so adorable, and he had grown to be so beautiful.

She was a mother, and this all fell new, it wasn't like having given birth to a child or loving a child, it was about being there for him and taking care of him. And that was a whole other level. She knew, that watching her son sleep would be one of her favorite things to do. She couldn't help smile at the cute way his lips parted leaving space for tiny puffs of air and she even, for a couple of times, saw him smile through his sleep, his lips curving upward just slightly, almost intinctively.

Michael walked in to hear Sara's voice playfully singing and his was rewarded with the beautiful sight he'd been longing for, Sara was smiling and singing to Mike while she made some work reshearch and Mike was playing and watching tv, amused by her singing.

''Hey, you two having a good time?''

Before Sara could turn and acknowledge his presence, Mike had already crawled incredibly fast towards him. ''Dada!'' Michael picked him up smiled and lay a kiss to his forehead.

''Hello Mikey, missed me?'' Mike smiled and kissed his cheek.

Sara left her work to join them, a nervous smile tugging at her lips.

''I think there's no word he says more than Dada.'' Sara admitted and Michael smiled at her, he wanted to peck her lips, to greet her, but the whole - acting like a happy cheesy family - seemed terribly awkward.

''I take it that means he troubled you?'' Michael asked but Sara rapidly shook her head.

''No, he just was a bit fussy after his nap but overall I think we can say our day went well.'' Sara smiled nervously but Michael could know by the twinkle in her eye that she was happy.

''Were you a good boy Mike?'' Michael asked his son, kissing the baby's cheek. Sara smiled and brought a hand to Mike's back rubbing affectionately. ''He was, he's an angel.''

Michael laughed at her remark. ''We'll see if you still think that in a few months.''

''You daring me Scofield?'' Sara asked playfully, delighted at having her family back.

''I'm not.'' Michael smiled and kissed Sara briefly, pecking her lips as Mike looked on.

Sara caught her son's intensive stare, his father didn't kiss anyone but him. He frowned for a second then laughed lunging forwards towards Sara and pecking her lips too.

Michael chuckled at the innocence of the action as he observed an overwhelmed Sara hold Mike close to her and lay a couple of kisses to his forehead with teary eyes.

Michael smiled encouragingly seeing the visible closeness between the mother and son.

''Sara? Are you sure you don't want help?'' Michael asked seeing her carry plates and glasses in both her hands. Maricruz and Sucre were still in town and Sara insisted upon making dinner, she wasn't good at cooking but something basic would do, it was just the feeling of making dinner and having it in family, with her husband and her son that warmed her heart by the rarity of it.

''No, I'm good.'' She smiled at Michael who held Mike and observed her, he put Mike safely in his high chair and sat on the dining table Sara had set.

He quietly watched her run around the kitchen and fumble with plates and wiping clothes, her hair tucked in a messy bun while Mike played with his baby spoon. She finally set the hot pot to the countertop and took Michael's and her plate to fill them before she carried them to the table.

''You look beautiful.'' Michael sincerely commented observing her.

Sara looked up from the forks she was setting surprised, she smiled nervously.

''Uh..thanks.'' She finally sat.

''It does smell good, let's see..'' before Michael could complete Mike banged his spoon against the table.

''Oh sorry Mike, Mom forgot your plate.'' Michael said in mid-movement to sit up but Sara stopped him.

''No, sit. I'll get it.'' She insisted and handed the baby plate to Mike once she had served him. ''Need anything else?'' Sara asked and Michael smiled at her adorable attempts to be good for them.

"No, thank you, we're good." He let out.

''Okay..'' she sat smiling nervously and Michael smiled back.

''It's fine Sara, it's only me and this little monster.'' Michael tried to put her at ease and Sara laughed.

''Yeah, it's you and Mike.'' She repeated but he could see the importance she gave them.

They began eating and Michael could see signs of nervousness in her, it made him fall in love with her even more.

''Well, not filet mignon but this was good Tancredi.'' He complimented the food and Sara had to smile at the use of her maiden name.

''I hope you remember you owe me a date Scofield?''

''I do.'' Michael smiled, glad she was more relaxed.

''Michael, I really don't need anything fancy, just being with you and Mike..it's the perfect dinner to me.'' Sara spoke sincerely and Michael held her hand over the table.

''We're going to have such dinners everyday, I promise.'' Sara nodded and smiled as she saw Mike's small palm reach for Michael's shoulder. He was reclaiming the spoon of potatoes Michael was feeding him every one in a while.

Michael looked over at Sara and passed her the baby spoon ''Go ahead, feed him.''

Sara looked surprised and held the spoon carefully filling the spoon.

''Is it enough?'' She asked not wanting a smaller or bigger bite than Mike's usual. ''Just a little less, yeah like that.'' Michael intructed.

She blew softly to cool the food down before feeding Mike who almost missed the spoon and smeared some potatoes to the corner of his lips, Sara smiled and reached for a tissue paper wiping his mouth clean.

Michael fondly observed the scene, as Mike seemed to eat easily from Sara's hand after a few spoons.

''I didn't knew babies could eat so much.'' Sara said while keeping on feeding Mike.

''Trusts me, his appetite makes me doubt he has the stomach of a baby sometimes.''

''He's got your apetite!'' Sara chuckled, Michael exaggeratedly crossed his arms across his chest.

''That is Linc's appetite not mine.''

By imitation, Mike too awkwardly tried to cross his arms and was quite unsuccessful, his attempt ending in him holding both his arms but imitating Michael seriously.

''Now, is that Linc again he's going after ?''

''Nope, that looks like you Tancredi.'' Sara smiled letting out a small laugh.

Mike gladly sucked on the spoon and Sara's heart swelled with love for her family.

''You did great Sara, everything's gonna be okay.'' He assured gently and she nodded, leaning closer to him while she let Mike down to play.

Sara took a deep breath. ''Thank you for giving me a chance Michael..I know that not all the inmates..get an opportunity to start afresh once they're out. And Michael, having you, and Mike, that's all I could ever have wished for.'' Michael held her hand.

''You don't have to thank me, you went to prison because of me. You saved my brother's life, my life, put yours on the line, and you think you wouldn't even deserve a chance at a normal life once you're out. You deserve so much more Sara, and I can't thank you enough, just know that I'll always be here for you.'' Sara sighed contently taking his hand in hers and rubbing her thumb over his olive skin.

''What about a new start? I mean..we're together, what would you like for us to do?'' Sara asked finally being hopeful.

''Well, would a house on suburbs with a white fence be good to you?'' Sara laughed at his irony.

''I think maybe..I'd like to go back to Chicago.'' Sara suggested in a soft voice.

''Yeah?'' Michael bent his head to peer at her.

''Uh uh..that's where we met and grew up..I'd like our son to grow up there. I'm kind of a nostalgic person you see Scofield.'' Michael chuckled.

''Chicago it is then, we could always move in a couple of year if we're not good.''

''Yeah, we have some time before Mike starts school, I'd like us to have just a small cosy appartement in Northwest, nothing grand.''

''Whoa, you're not very ambitious doctor, here I was planning onto designing us our own house.'' Sara smiled at the idea and looked in Michael's eyes before placing her lips on his in a soft kiss.

''I like the sound of that, we could design everything together, I already have ideas. But until that, I'd like us to have just the small mundane affair for now.''

Michael smiled and kissed her nose tenderly, he knew after life on the run and prison, all she wanted was the smallest and simplest of lifestyle.

''Does that mean I have to keep the blueprints of our dream house tattooed on my chest?''

Sara smiled.

''Not a bad idea, I liked the tats..'' she admitted.

''Liked? That have to be an understatement. The number of times I caught you staring at them in Fox River definitely surpass the number of toes I have.''

Sara laughed looking down, blushhing slightly and watched their son play with his cubes for a while, she noticed the way all the toys were scattered around the living room.

''We need to make him a nursery, in Chicago.'' Michael nodded in agreement.

''How would you like it to be?'' Sara let out a laugh at his question.

''Well..like a nursery, cosy, fluffy..'' She shrugged.

''Yeah but what paint color or what designs and dimensions?''

''Slow down Michael, I'm not a client...well i think I'd like light shades of baby blue...oh and a white crane of one the walls! Elegant and geometric..''

''That's a great idea..may I ask where does it come from?'' Michael teased and Sara smiled.

''I don't know..just came into my mind like that.'' She said innocently.

''Right. How'd you like our bedroom to be?''

''Whoa..'' Sara took a sharp breath and grinned, eyes shining from happiness as she thought about making her own room with Michael, a place of their own. Home. Not the dusty motel rooms, the SS Minnow's narrow bunk or Deb's all too personnified room. And it filled her with warmth in change of the cold prison cells.

''I don't know..uh...I guess I'd let you decide, I'm not very good at this stuff.'' She let out nervously.

''We have to do it together, I have ideas for my study, I'd like to spend a maximum time home. So..it's going to be grey and anthracite, with silver paint and outlines of a blueprint on a wall.'' Sara smiled.

''That's creative..'' Sara said impressed.

''I'll show you some things, you're gonna be so full of ideas you won't know what to choose.'' Sara smiled and both held each other for a while.

''I..I like this..I mean I love the idea of moving into our own small apartment and decorating it..we'll be having hot dogs take out and I'll work at the Northwestern hospital, you'd pick me. Dinners, movies, we could take Mike to the park, it's gonna be great.'' Sara smiled happiness and eagerness in her eyes.

She always found the people in her neighborhood silly whenever they laughed and enjoyed simple things she personnally found boring. Yeah, at that time, shooting up, drugs and parties where she could get drunk were more appealing.

But now, nothing gave her more hapiness than a small mundane life in Chicago with Michael and their son.

Michael held her hands determined.

''And this time, no one is taking this from us.'' He promised.

''Dada!'' Mike interrupted them crawling to Michael's lap and handing him a cube.

Sara watched father and son with awe and adoration, she loved their bond.

Helped by Michael, Mike piled up the cubes making a tower out of them and he took one, in his chubby little hands and handed it to Sara looking at her, hopeful she'd play with them.

''Why thank you Mikey.'' Sara tenderly spoke taking the cube from him and encasing it at the top of the tower.

Mike let out a laugh and clapped his hands together, Sara laughed too and kissed his forehead while the baby kept on playing.

Michael exchanged a look with her and both smiled, hopeful for a better future.

 ** _This story is almost coming to an end, and even if I know my plots and storytelling might not be that interesting, I think the content is worth keeping me up. Just wanted to intercorporate some Misa fluff through the end, we never got enough of it. Originally, this was more focussed on Sara's saty in prison and Misa separation, but with the flow, I thought writing her journey into reinsertion into real life would be interesting and realistical, rather than ending the story with Michael and Sara being reunited emotionally as soon as she stepped out of prison without any problem, likewise, I think Michael's reintegration of his family specially with a son he never met would be an interesting plot to follow the end of season 5. I think I'll keep writing, because practise always make one better, and I might have some more Misa stuff up my sleeve, if anyone's interested._**


	17. Chapter 17 - The Scofields

Michael watched as Sara fed their son and rocked him to sleep, gently swaying and pacing back and forth. The love he could see in her body language, the maternal affection that was so obvious overwhelmed him. Things were fine, they were even great.

But Michael couldn't forget what they went through, what she endured. He still remembered her dark circled eyes and stoic mannerism during his visits in prison, he remembered her sleepless nights back in here.

She had never showed weakness, but for some reason, Michael Scofield's heart bled for his wife. As a patient of LLI his mind had tortured him with thoughts of her, he imagined tragedies as well as small, little things that broke his heart. Such as imagining his pregnant wife, his world, starving when she needed food, lying on a bed scared to death. His weeping Sara on her small narrow prison bunk. Morning sickness, puking through the open view toilets.

Questions killed his insides, How many bruises did her body bear ? How many pillows did she have to sleep ? What were her pregnancy cravings that she could never fulfill ? How did she survive months in solitary ? Had they uncuffed her while she gave birth ? How many times did she cry in longing of her infant ?

Michael could cry endless hours at the terrible things done to his wife, and it was all his fault. She should have ten pillows to feel confortable, have all the love and support from him and their family, she should have all the food she needed, she should have given birth in the best way she felt or wished as a doctor, with him by her side. She should have held her son so many times through the day her arms would be sore..

Instead, Michael couldn't imagine the inhuman ways Sara had to live through. A part of him would always hate himself for it, it was all his fault. He's dragged her into this, he got her pregnant while on the run, she was incarcerated because she had saved his life from his psychopath of a mother.

He should have done more, found a way to break her out, Michael was ready to die for her on the first prison escape.. He should have tried again, even if she had selflessly sacrified herself for their baby's wellbeing.

So today, when they were slowly morphing into a happy family. Michael felt the weight of guilt pin in to depth of self hatred and he needed to apologies. It was the least he could do for the selfless, loving woman that suffered so much because of him. He needes to, for himself. For his sanity.

"Look at you, you're like a pro." He smiled sadly watching her put the baby gently into his crib and tuck the blanket around him.

Sara caught his look and smiled more brightly.

"Yeah, I guess time will make everything okay." she gave him a reassuring smile but Michael's face fell at her statement.

Time could not make this okay.

He walked up to her and hugged her, kissing her auburn hair and rubbing her back.

Sara was surprised but held him back, closing her eyes feeling peace.

"I'm so sorry Sara." She heard him say in a broken voice, was he crying?

"Michael?" She called concerned as she pulled back to look at him.

"I'm so sorry you had to go through hell because of me, I'm terribly sorry they kept you away from our son and that your heartache was caused by me, Sara..." he took a breath gently placing a stray of her hair behind her ear.

"My sweet Sara, I wish I had protected you from everything. I hate myself because you were there going through hell where as I was here, free, with our son. I'm so, so, so sorry. I'd die to take it all back, to keep you from suffering so much.." Sara watched in shock as tears bathed her husband's cheeks.

He held her hands and kisded them, one by one, repeating apologies over and over again.

"Oh Michael..don't blame yourself. Nothing was your fault. Why are you even thinking all this ? Everything's fine now, it's gonna be okay." She calmed wiping the skin beneath his eyed with the soft pads of her thumbs.

Yes she had gone through a lot, but she was finally moving on and bring hopeful, she never, ever blamed Michael for anything. It was all worth it.

"Why do you even love me ? All I've done to you is harm. I don't deserve you..I should have done something." Michael shook his head guilt and regret pouring through his words.

"Michael! Stop saying that, stop thinking that. I'm strong and I'm though, I made it. See, I made it Michael. We're happy, we're a family, we're free and safe. I was the one who stopped you from trying. If I had escaped, we would have been on the run again in some foreign country, with fake identities, fearing death, that's not the life I wanted for my child. I wanted him to be raised in here, by the Scofields, to be proud of his name, to be safe.. We're gonna buy a house, decorate it, make him a room, I'll find a job soon, we're going to have the life we always wished for. And now Michael, we'll never fear anything, we'll never have to look over our shoulder constantly. We're free, legally free." Sara smiled.

Michael kissed her lips, even in this situation she was the thoughest.

"I'm sorry.." he repeated again and Sara wiped his tears shaking her head.

"We won Michael, it's okay. This is the day that I kept holding on for. It's going to be okay. Nothing's gonna come between us anymore.."

"I love you, so much, you're the strongest woman I know." He whispered.

Sara smiled. "I love you too, and Mike loves you..we're together, we're okay."

Michael held on, closing his eyes and hoping that the upcoming moments of joy and the life of hapiness ahead would heal their wounds.

"When did you became the optimist one ?" Michael broke the silence and whispered.

Sara just laughed against his chest, sending vibrations down his heart and healing it's pain away..

Mike touche ses pieds,

(All goes to shopping and Sara and M buy some lingerie, Michael sara and mike spends some time as a family, mike scene walking on digital fishes. Lunch at mcdo, mike plays, sara watches. Hapiness.)

Scene du centre co, mike joue par terre intera, sara mari lingerie, sara michael oarlent en voiture,

Sara had never been a fan of Christmas time, she despised all the traditions, the the ambiance, everything.. It was maybe the case because her mother had died on december 15th, and since then, the little girl in Sara had hated Christmas traditions. It's not the holiday she hated, but the over-exaggerated lights and happiness, gatherings and shopping when her heart was sad and lonely.

In her adult life, she'd never given much attention to the festivities, being the one to always volunteer working on the 25th and keeping her daily mundane routine, oblivious to the parties and gatherings and around Chicago.

This year was different, the new year meant a new start, a new life, hope, a second chance. She was undeniably happy with Michael and Mike.

They had all ventured for Christmas shopping with the Sucre family, and Sara was delighted to watch her son's eyes brighten to the lights and decorations and grandeur of the shopping mall. Michael had admitted Mike, at his young age was feisty in every store he went, dropping products into the kart behind his father's back, opening food items before they were even paid for, and always wanting to crawl around, never staying calm for a minute.

As annoying as it sounded, the mother in Sara was only pleased seeing her son discover the world and the witnessing his wonder to new things. The Scofields had rested by the centre of the mall, on a couple of benches under an escalator, they had gained their complicity back and Sara couldn't be happier as she chatted with Michael while Mike eagerly sucked on his feeder comfortable in his stroller.

''I've always been amazed by Christmas tree balls, they're so enchanting, I used to make some.'' Sara smiled fondly as she and Michael shared their Christmas preferences. She could totally picture the structural engineer her husband was, decorating the item with fineness and delicacy.

''I liked the confettis more, because they irritated my father so much, I used to buy some and then there were some all around the house and some spilled on his expensive suits, he looked ridiculous at his political conferences and in front of his friends and he would always be angry.'' Sara admitted guiltlessly with a grin.

''Thank god you aren't my daughter, you always looked like a trouble maker to me!'' Michael teased and Sara slapped his hand playfully, he caught her and both smiled as he leant in and their lips met in a tender peck. Having found each other again, they never wanted to miss a second of affection, they were always touching each other and displaying their devotion and love to the other.

''Dada!'' An exited Mike interrupted them and Michael turned to see his son hand him his empty feeder, he wouldn't stick to his stroller now, Michael knew that and before he made a fuss, he allowed the baby who's been constricted in his scroller for hours to be finally free and play near the children's area.

Mike excitedly crawled forwards and Sara giggled to herself watching her son with admiration.

''God, hearing about your childhood, I now realise where his naughty side comes from.'' Michael teased over and Sara grinned.

''Does that mean you were a quiet child, a nerd maybe?''

''Quiet persons can hide the most of feistiness , I think you know that.''

Sara chuckled and blushed slightly to the reference to their sexual life and stood up to follow their son.

Mike was crawling over a floored screen that displayed colored fishes moving into blue water. Mike was mesmerized and the toddler stared in wonder at the moving floor beneath him.

''Those are fishes Mike! Here see that one's Nemo! Try to catch it.'' Sara coaxed as she played with her baby, her finger following the Nemo looking fish over the floor.

Mike squealed and let out a giggle as he lurched forwards trying to catch the many kinds of colorful fishes that displayed on the screen. He looked to be having a preference for a blue one and crawled along, following the fish. Sara giggled in happiness, for, she had never hoped to be granted such moments with their beautiful child.

''Mike! See it's here!'' She helped her son pointing to the blue fish the toddler had lost, he was looking lost all around and he giggled at his mother's indication and crawled to his right to follow the same fish again.

Mother and son had played with the digital screen for a while and Michael watched them, happy his wife was free and safe, that she could like any mother, become a child herself and play with her baby. Motherhood had a purity, a genuineness and an innocence to it, Michael was glad he could see those vibes on Sara too, that all he saw in her wasn't sorrow and pain anymore.

''Mom!'' Mike called out wanting his mother to help him and Sara opened her palm and closed her fist when the fish passed below her palm, acting as if she caught it in her hand. Intrigued, Mike crawled to her and caught her closed fist, his small delicate fingers peeled it open and he stared with an open mouth as he was met with air.

''Bwa it's magic!'' Sara pinched his nose and Mike giggled, Sara caught him in her arms and the exited baby laid sloppy kisses across her cheek and jawline. She smiled and lay a tender kiss to his forehead, she wiped his chin, where some drool had spilled over and pecked his lips twice, with a mother's devotion.

Michael joined them with a loving smile on his lips.

''Y'all done playing Nemo?''

''Bah!'' Mike exclaimed holding his closed fist in front of Michael and opening it to reveal air, as he imitated his mother.

Michael giggled slightly running a hand through Mike's hair and smiling to him. Sara shared a happiness full look with Michael.

''Isn't that a little too...?'' Sara stopped seeing the bold piece of lingerie Maricruz held in front of her.

The dads had taken the toddlers to play while Maricruz took Sara with her saying she needed to look at some women stuff, make up and such and the kids would be bored.

Instead, Maricruz led her in a lignerie shop, saying she had to buy things for herself but planning to push Sara into action too.

''No! You're not 50 Sara come on, you're a newly wed, what is it about you that Michael hasn't seen anyway.'' Sara hung her head low, a small smile forcing its way on her lips.

It wasn't Michael, or that she herself was sexually shy on the contrario, but more than a year in prison and months in isolation plus the changes in her body that came and went with pregnancy, the depression she had after Mike was born...it all hadn't really maintened her self confidence or body positivity.

''Well I guess I could..'' she begin before Maricruz cut her and handed her the garments. ''Ofcourse you could, now go on try them!'' She patted her back and Sara put a stray of hair behind her ear self-consciously as she walked towards the cabins.

Red. Provocative. Sara had never ever worn anything as such, and the only time she thought about buying lingerie was the night before her wedding with Michael, she had found it silly, because she knew Michael found her beautiful anyhow, but she had envisaged it, with the marital life.

She stared at herself in the mirror, low waist lacy panties, crotch-less. Sara bit her lower lip, the red refined dentelle extended to her hips, wrapping them up curvingly and accentuating her buttocks. She traced the faded stretch marks on her abdomen with her fingers, not finding them as offending as they'd once been, and she wondered whether they really changed or was it more the vision of herself.

The bra was red lace and it fit her extended chest just perfectly, never getting the chances to breastfeed she hadn't kept her big breasts for long, but the changes were definitely there. Her nipples were darker, perkier in comparision to the soft pink buds she once had..

Sara allowed a smile to crept up on her face and blushed looking away from her body and biting her lip again. She imagined Michael's reaction and laughed quietly, it was worth the shot, just to see the look on his face. Shock ? Exitement ?

''So ? Maybe you can try another size ?'' Maricruz suggested.

''How much do they cost?'' Sara asked timidly and her friend laughed slapping her arm playfully and Sara laughed too.

''I told you mami, you're beautiful. Do you wanna see anything else ?''

''No I'm good, you're done too?'' Sara asked.

''Sí, Sucre loves eccentric so I picked these.'' Sara's eyes widened and she laughed slowly beginning to find herself at ease with openly mentioning her sex life with Maricruz.

The Sucre had left the mall early saying Lilah felt a bit tired but both Michael and Sara knew that they always found excuses to A, give some alone time to them, and B, find some alone time for themselves. Not that anyone minded.

Michael and Sara had done one more baby shop before they decided to have dinner in a small fast food, they figured Maricruz would be doing anything but cooking and so, seeing the late time, it was better they ate out, it would give them some more time together and if it wasn't filet mignon, it was actually their first dinner out together, with Mike of course.

It turned out wonderful as both of them enjoyed the casualness they shared, there was only familiarity and love between the small family, no awkwardness, no hesitancy. It all flowed smoothly and being a family doing simple mundane things felt so good.

They'd almost finished their meal when Michael, who preferred not to have any soda earlier, decided to get himself an orange juice. It was an occasion for him to leave Mike with Sara, and make her feel he trusted her with the child even outside in a crowded fastfood.

Sara went for a spoon of her sundae when Mike's tiny chubby hand reached out and grabbed it. Sara looked at him surprised and she laughed at his pleading expression. She glanced over at Michael who wasn't looking their way, busy talking with the staff.

She knew as a doctor that ice cream wasn't that bad for babies as it was made out of milk anyway, the excess sugar was to be avoided and she figured one spoon couldn't harm him. Sara reached for the white cream being careful to not pick out any peanut crust and quickly fed Mike.

Mike ate wholeheartedly and smacked his lips together watching her with a smile.

''Shh don't tell Dada okay? It's a secret between us.'' She conspiringly told him while wiping at his mouth with a tissue and Mike looked at her and giggled, satisfied she didn't refuse him the food like his daddy.

When Michael returned, he saw Mike and Sara playing over the coloring animes on the tray's paper. Sara was tracing the cartoon's shape and making him talk while Mike observed and gigled. She seemed to be so good in playing with children.

''Got your orange juice?'' Sara quipped.

''Yep, all done.'' Michael smiled lovingly at her.

Mike reached out for the ice cream spoon again and Michael slapped his hand gently, the baby looked over at Sara with a frown and Michael understood.

He watched over Mike and noticed a tiny streak of white in the corner of his lips, it was so tiny maybe only his LLI could let him see it.

''She gave you ice cream? Oh my god Mikey you're such a naughty shmunk.'' Michael scolded the baby who reached for Sara and she immediately took him in her arms, hugging him to her chest in mock protection.

''It was only a small bit, I promise.'' She admitted guiltily, Mike pecked her cheek.

''Mom..'' he mumbled with a smile and Sara kissed the infant back.

Michael smiled watching them, he felt his heart swell in his chest.

''You kept on doing that and he's gonna love you and hate me.'' Michael mock complained.

Sara laughed softly knowing it was impossible for Mike to hate the doting father Michael was.

''That's the plan, I'm stealing your son!'' She teased holding Mike against herself protectively and Michael raised an eyebrow.

''Is that so? Alright I'll steal your husband then.'' Sara smiled laughing softly.

''My husband love me too much for you to steal him away.'' She spoke tenderly and Michael leant in and kissed her lips, Mike watched them with curiosity as each time they kissed and pecked Sara's lips too.

Sara and Michael both laughed at the innocent reflex of their son and to any passerby, the Scofields looked just like any happy and bonded family...

xxxxxxxxxxx

This story is coming to an end, only a small epilogue is left.

I might be writing other Misa stories, I have a long multi-chapters continuation to my altered TFB ending titled "Impossible".

I know my plots and storylines might not be that interesting but I think the content I write is quite okay so I'll give it a shot ans begin posting once I've filled all the gaps.

Untill then, thank you for the reviews and support !


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